Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Goal Filters
What if the fastest way to your goals is to slow down first? We unpack a filtered approach to productivity that keeps your peace intact while you do big, meaningful work...at home, in your career, and in your worship.
We begin by separating self-worth from achievement so your ambition runs on clean fuel, not self-defense. Then we embrace the 50/50 nature of life: joy and frustration, ease and difficulty, all baked into the human design. Finally, we elevate intentions.
Two people can run the same playbook...workshops, client work, meal plans, training sessions, yet get opposite experiences based on their why. Comparison, proving, and approval-seeking burn hot and fast. Service, faith, and legacy burn steady and long.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs calmer productivity, and leave a review to help more listeners find these tools. Your reflections fuel future episodes—what goal will you run through the filters this week?
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Wisdom Wednesdays is your chance to apply what you learn in this podcast. It is my weekly coaching program that will create real time change based on everything you learn here.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, Dr. Tamil Astar.
SPEAKER_01:Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you. Today I'm going to take you through what I call a filtered approach to productivity. How you keep moving towards your goal while actually enjoying your life during the process. I love productivity. Alhamdulillah. I love checking something off my list and thinking, yes, that came from my brain, from my education, from my capacity that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave me. It came from my experience. I love creating something that wasn't here before and knowing that it's adding value in a way that only I can, specifically unique to me. And the same applies to you. I love the feeling of that contribution in a way that feels unique and purposeful. But the differentiation that I had to learn is that I don't make any of that mean something about my inherent worth. My self worth is already complete, whether I achieve a goal or not, whether I contribute or not, whether the project turns out to be perfect or not. My worth does not change. That part is settled. So when I strive, it's not to prove that I'm good enough, it's because I'm ambitious, because I'm creative, because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave me the resources, because there's something inside of me that wants to contribute, that wants to see what's possible when I really lean in into all of the discomforts. At the same time I'm also human, and I fall into the trap just like everyone else, the trap of hustle, the trap of moving so fast that you don't even notice that you're sprinting past the joy. And every time I catch myself in that sprint because somewhere under the surface I've slipped back into chasing my worth through accomplishment, then I redirect and I come back to the purpose. And I see this all of the time in the women that I coach. They're brilliant, capable, high standard women, but their nervous systems are running on fumes because their goals are laced with self-criticism. They're in regret, constant anxiety, guilt, and that taints the process, that takes the enjoyment out of the process of achieving the goal. It's like driving a beautiful luxury car but driving it with the parking brake on. The effort is exhausting and the engine's going to be damaged in the process. So today I want you guys to turn towards your goals through a simple set of filters. Three filters that clean up the goal, like filtering muddy water until it's clear enough to drink. Once you run your goals through these filters, you'll notice that the urgency behind them drops. You will have at your hands a sustainable process to achieve the goals that's even enjoyable. So some of the reasons why you might be rushing through life trying to push and hurry towards a goal is because knowingly or unknowingly, you've made the goal mean something about you, about your worth, about your identity, whether you're a good mother, a successful professional, a valuable person to the world. And the moment your brain links achievement to worth, it turns up the urgency. And in that case, you're not trying to complete a task, you're trying to defend your right to feel good about yourself. And that's filter number one, self-worth. You are not going to get married because you're more valuable or more worthy. You're not going to get divorced for that reason either. You're going to work towards these goals not because they're attached to your worth, because you have other reasons behind it. Number two filter is other times the reason of rushing is because you've convinced yourself that life will be better over there than it is here. That once you have hit the goal, you'll finally feel calm, happy, confident, or whatever it is that you're craving the goal for. The ultimate truth is that life is always fifty fifty. Half the time it feels light, easy, and full of joy. The other half it's messy, frustrating, and uncomfortable. Reaching a goal, big or small, does not take you out of this ratio. It does not erase the human experience. It just swaps one set of challenges for the other. Your brain is literally designed to interpret life 50% negative and 50% positive. It's built into your inherent system, so no matter how fast you try to achieve a goal, no matter how noble or ambitious your goals are, you cannot outrun this design. If anything, the faster you chase the goal, the more you miss the opportunity to actually live your life. And this is just as true for spiritual goals as well. You may feel moments of deep peace and serenity when you're focusing on the quality of your worship, no matter what form your worship takes, and these moments are absolutely real and beautiful, but your brain is still human. Your life will still be the mix of ease and difficulty outside of those moments. Even in your season of spiritual growth, there will be distractions, doubts, frustrations, days that you don't feel at the spiritual high. And all of that does not mean you're failing, it just means that you're living a human design created by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, where both the comfort and the challenge exist side by side. So that was filter number two. Filter number three is about higher intentions. What are your intentions behind your goals? Are you achieving your goal because you're in the spirit of loving productivity? Or for the sake of your higher intentions? Which might be that I'm doing this for the sake of Allah. I'm doing this because I'm blessed with resources. I'm doing this because it makes me a better person. I'm doing this because I want to be of service, because I want to leave a legacy for fellow Muslim women and my children. I'm doing this because I want to raise the level of consciousness of the Muslim Uma. And what better way to do that than through the coaching and through this podcast? Because when I speak to a Muslim woman, I'm influencing the entire household, her colleagues, the next generation, and there's no better support that I can provide this world with the resource that I've been given. And the goal itself is not the problem, it's the intention underneath it. You can have the most beautiful, outwardly noble goal, but if it's powered by a low level intention, you'll burn out long before you arrive at the goal. So take the same coaching career goal that I have, that I give you very elevated intentions behind. On the surface, the goal can look identical. Same workshops, same podcasts, same client work. But if the intention was I need to prove I'm not a failure, there will be pressure behind every task I do in this process. Every setback is going to feel personal. Any week that's slower than usual is going to feel like evidence that I'm not good enough. And instead of enjoying my work, I'd be white knuckling my way through it, trying to outrun my self-doubt. Or maybe another low level of intention I might have is I have to keep up with everyone else. Now my nervous system is running in comparison mode. Every time another coach launches something or posts something that goes viral, I feel invisible. I feel the push to work harder and faster. Not because it's coming for my higher intentions, but because I'm afraid I'll be behind. This fear-based fuel burns hot and fast and it empties the tank quickly. Or let's say my other low level intention is that if I make this successful, finally people will respect me. Now the goal is tied to other people's opinions, which I can't control anyways. I'd be constantly scanning for signs for approval or disapproval. Any neutral or negative feedback would hit me hard, and this kind of emotional roller coaster makes it impossible to stay consistent without crashing. Makes it impossible for me to enjoy the process. Low level intentions make the goal unsustainable because they add a second hidden job to everything you do. Not only are you doing the hard work of working towards the goal, you're also trying to protect your ego. You're trying to outrun your insecurities, you're trying to keep up with your sense of self-worth. All of this extra weight slows you down and makes even small bumps feel like complete roadblocks. You can take any goal, whether it's worldly, like building your career, buying a home, reaching a fitness milestone, or it's spiritual and otherworldly, like memorizing the Quran or improving your salah or deepening your sadqa. If it doesn't pass through these filters, you will almost always end up with carrying the hustle and anxiety behind them. You'll push yourself with self-punishment instead of self-respect, and when you think you've reached that finish line, you'll feel drained and the goalpost will move five feet further. Without these filters, the goal is ever elusive and always running away from you. So maybe you're reaching for productivity, maybe finally you're making up with your in-laws, maybe you're starting your business, maybe you're becoming more serious about your health, lifting weights, maybe you're becoming more serious about your parenting, doing it through more thoughtfulness and more presence. Whatever your goal is, big or small, personal or professional, worldly or spiritual, take the goal and run it through these filters. Because the way you relate to the goal before you start will decide whether you approach it with calm and confidence or you approach it with hustle, anxiety, and self-criticism. And that difference in itself will decide if you achieve it at all. The reason these filters work is simple. They clean up the emotional fuel behind your goal. When you put your goal through these filters, you stop dragging yourself forward with self-criticism. Your body is not designed to stay in a high alert mode for months and years on end. The fight or flight chemistry eats up your mental focus, your creative and your physical energy. That's why people burn out. This is why there are poorer health outcomes because when you're trying to achieve something through stress, your health declines. Filtering your goals through this layered approach keeps your worth and identity off the table. So your well-being doesn't become collateral damage in the process of your growth. It allows you to pursue big, ambitious things without sacrificing your peace, your health, your presence along the way. So Alhamdulillah, the next goal that I've created for myself personally is in the field of fitness and it's weight training, lifting heavier, building more muscle mass, and I've already accomplished a lot in the area of fitness, but my next challenge is this, and this is what I'm excited about. And because through experience I know how easy it is for even the most exciting goal to turn into hustle and pressure and burnout, I'm going to take this goal through the same filters I'm teaching you today. That way I'm not chasing results, I'm making sure the way I get there is sustainable and enjoyable. Paradoxically, your performance actually improves when you slow down. When you filter your goal through these layers, you remove the hustle and the rush. These are the things that drain the energy right out of you. This is what improves performance. If you know how to slow down, put your goals through these filters, you will access your goals through your full capacity. You will be removing fear from the equation, you will be taking out the mental noise, the noise that you're behind, you're not enough, or you have to earn yourself worth. When you slow down, your nervous system slows down. That's when everything changes. The same goal that requires the same energy creates compounded results, more creativity, more focus. You stop leaking your resources into panic and pressure. And this is why I run every goal I set through my this layered approach. Before I take a single step towards a goal, I make sure that the reason of me pursuing this goal, that it's coming from ambition, creativity, service, highest intention. It's detached from my worth. I'm not doing it to prove my worth, to outrun the parts of the human experience that I don't like. So I'm gonna give you some examples. Let's say you want to get the house ready before guests arrive. And this seems like a surface superficial goal, but let's see what it looks like after we put it through the filters. Filter number one, self worth. Is my self worth tied to how spoutless the house is or how perfectly the evening goes? If yes, it will feel like that my identity is on the line, and the pressure will turn this simple task into a high stakes performance. In which case I'll end up rushing, snapping at everyone, and when I remove my worth from the outcome, it's just cleaning. It's not whether I'm a good host or a good wife or a good human. Filter number two intention. Why am I doing this? If the intention is so they'll think well of me, or so no one can criticize me, then I'm going to be constantly working from anxiety and defensiveness. But if the intention is that I want to create a warm, welcoming space where the people feel comfortable and cared for, then the energy shifts. I will be efficient. I will be more likely to pace myself and focus on what actually matters into creating that space. Filter number three the human experience. Am I expecting this to go perfectly and feel stress free before and after? Or once I get to the goal I will believe that the evening will only be successful and nothing will go wrong. In all of that, I'm setting myself up for failure and disappointment. There will be small hiccups, and maybe a dish is not prepared in time, maybe a guest arrives early, maybe there's a spill in the room. Accepting that some chaos is normal will keep you from spiraling when it does happen. When you put your goal no matter how big or small through these filters, you will have more oxygen to run on. Another example let's say you're trying to prepare yourself for Ramadan with detailed meal plans, Drawi schedule, Quran recitation timelines and charts. Filter number one, self worth. Am I making my worth as a Muslim depend on how perfectly I execute this plan? If that's the case, every missed page or every script night of Drawi, no matter how good your reason, is gonna feel like proof that you're failing spiritually, that pressure will drain the joy out of worship. Filter number two intention. Why am I doing this? If the intention is that so I can finally have a perfect Ramadan like other people, like Instagram, so that I can prove that I'm disciplined, this is the feeling of the comparison in the ego. But if the intention is to deepen my connections with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, to bring more barakah into my home and in my life, then even smaller, slower effort is going to feel meaningful and satisfying. Filter number three, human experience. Am I expecting to feel spiritually high and energized the entire time? If I believe that I should be in a consistent state of spiritual bliss, then the first low energy day will feel like a failure. But if you accept the Ramadan like all of life, like it's fifty fifty, moments of peace and moments of struggle, and they're all a blessing, you're going to stop resisting the design. Let's say the next goal is creating your own business. Filter number one, is it attached to your self-worth? Are you making it mean that you value more as a human being just because your business takes off quickly? It's going to drain you. Filter number two, why are you creating the business? Is the intention so that you never depend on anyone so that you can prove to everyone that you're capable? Then the approach will be filled with defensiveness and urgency. Filter number three, human experience. Are you expecting the journey to be constantly smooth and encouraging? If that's the case, then the first glitch, the first hiccup, any unhappy client, any dry sale period is going to feel catastrophic, that's going to drain you. Put your goals through these filters. This approach is not going to fail you. And the highest intention you can ever place behind any goal, whether building a business, improving your health, repairing a relationship, memorizing Quran, the highest intention you can have is I'm doing this for the sake of Allah. Any or all of these filters aren't here to tell you to change your goal. You can keep the exact same target. What changes is your relationship with it. And that shift changes everything. Because when your relationship is clean, when your worth isn't on the line, when your intention is high, and when you accept the fifty fifty nature of life, you stop chasing the goal from fear and scarcity. You start walking towards it with steadfastness. That way the goal doesn't just get accomplished, it gets accomplished in a way that leaves you whole, and you absolutely enjoy the process. With that I pray to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, O Allah, purify my intentions behind my goals, steady my heart, and fill my efforts with barakah and your blessing. Let every goal I set to be pleasing to you, O Allah. Grant me patience, presence, and trust to complete it with excellence and ihan. Amin Ya Rabul Amin. Please keep me in your du'az. I will talk to you guys next time.