Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Beyond the Illusions of the World
Drawing inspiration from Ousama Alshurafa's teachings and book "The Afterlife Manual," this episode explores a powerful paradigm shift: recognizing that worldly causes (asbab) are not true agents of change or benefit, but rather veils through which Allah works His decree. Money doesn't benefit us with Allah's permission... rather, Allah benefits us through money. Medicine doesn't heal us...Allah heals us through medicine. This subtle language shift reflects a profound difference in belief and transforms our relationship with the world.
The concept connects beautifully with my coaching framework (Circumstances, Nervous System Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, Results). When we understand that circumstances are neutral and don't cause our emotions – our thoughts about them do – we reclaim tremendous agency. This perspective doesn't mean disengaging from the world; it means engaging with clarity and trust.
This episode touches on many practical applications, like noticing your language about causes and effects. When you catch yourself putting circumstances before Allah, gently correct yourself. Before taking medicine or making investments, intend in your heart: "I'm turning to Allah to bring about the benefit these means can provide." As you cultivate this awareness, you'll find greater peace, regardless of external conditions.
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Wisdom Wednesdays is your chance to apply what you learn in this podcast. It is my weekly coaching program that will create real time change based on everything you learn here.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizable. Successful Now your host, dr Kamal Atar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.
Speaker 1:Recently, I've been diving deep into the work of Osama Ashrafa, an unconventional motivational speaker and the creator of Muslim Hub. I recently finished his book, the Afterlife Manual, which is an excellent read and I do recommend it and during reading that book, I came across many concepts that I think are excellent for us Muslims to adopt, and he definitely takes a very fresh and new take on it. I'm going to be talking about a lot of his work, but also integrating my ideas. That way, I can give you guys a practical framework of how to achieve of what he teaches. He talks about going beyond the means, seeing the real source, which is a shift from focusing on worldly causes to recognizing that Allah is the ultimate wa ta'ala is the ultimate origin. He talks about the illusion of asbab, the situations and the circumstances around you, the idea that causes that we see are veils and Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, uses this veil to keep himself hidden, just so we can find him in the signs, the signs of this world. What I want to emphasize is that, his point of Allah being the origin of everything, it is important for us to remember that over and over again. Come to this, teaching from different directions, because this does ensure an optimal mental health for a human being, and, of course, there are other religious benefits for it, but that's what I want to emphasize today. This world is an illusion created by Allah so we can look at these signs and recognize Him alone. We have agency that goes beyond the asbab that Allah gave us. These asbab are anything and everything that is around us or even within us, including our intelligence, our family, our feelings, our income, our house, our friendships and our relationships. Not only when you truly understand these concepts, but when you implement them, they have a profound effect on your life, the concept being that the world is an illusion and Allah is the primary, true originator behind everything. The perspective we're going to take today is going to challenge you to see beyond the physical, beyond the circumstances and into the heart of reality. We do rely on material causes money, medicine, other people's apologies All of these things are veils, any material cause, and there are subtle shifts that we go through in our language that shift our understanding and transform our sense of responsibility, bring us closer towards peace and trust. And all of this is Ustad Osama's work. But I'm gonna take it another step forward to make it easier for us to apply and connect these insights to the coaching framework that I use.
Speaker 1:Let's start with this question what if everything you see, touch, taste, smell, hear, anything you're using your five senses for is not the ultimate reality, but rather an interface? He uses an example of virtual reality headset. It gives you information that feels real, but you know it's a projection. Similarly, the world we experience through our five senses is virtual reality. The things that seem to cause certain effects in our life, like medicine, seems to cause a cure. Allah does not need the medicine because he causes the cure. This cause, this sabab of medicine is an illusion. And when we say illusion, it does not mean fake. It means that cause is ultimately not what it appears to be. Our children, our resources or the lack thereof is not the ultimate source of benefit or harm. These are simply the tools by which Allah SWT, who is Al-Fattah, the opener, al-wahhab, the giver, al-shafir, the healer, veils himself. It's a way of testing us If we were given the equipment and the senses to comprehend him directly. Then faith would be easy. There would be no test. So Ustaz Osama Al-Sharfa explains that Allah SWT cannot be perceived by the mind. Instead, our mind is designed to perceive the world through the senses. But since the senses are limited, anything beyond the means of this world is veiled. So it is our job to recognize that while we are navigating the world of cause and effect money, medicine, education these are not true agents. They are curtains behind which Allah SWT works His decree.
Speaker 1:Understanding this is not just an abstract idea. It changes how we speak, how we think and how healthy we feel in our mind and body. And, like I always tell you, language is powerful. So he noted in his book that sometimes we say money can benefit you with Allah's permission. While it seems like an innocuous statement, notice the order of causality. The subject is money. Money can benefit you with Allah's permission, and Allah's permission is secondary. So if you listen closely, the structure implies that money on its own might benefit you and then only later does Allah allow that benefit. So now compare it to the sentence that he wrote in the book that's a correction which says Allah, if he wills, will benefit you through money. Here, through the change of language, allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala is the direct agent. Money becomes the means. It is a very subtle change, but it reflects a profound difference in belief A version that places money first, even if you qualify it with Allah's permission, and the second version places Allah first. The means, which is the money, comes after. So what I want to do is give you more examples so it's easier to understand, so I can then develop the concept more.
Speaker 1:The medicine healed me by Allah's permission becomes Allah SWT healed me and he chose this medicine as the means. She forgave me because I apologized. Become Allah SWT softened her heart to forgive me and my apology was the door that he used. I passed the exam because Allah SWT gave me the capacity to work hard. That becomes Allah granted me success and allowed me to work hard. Or things like a therapist helped me heal because Allah granted him that education. That becomes Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guided me to healing and used the therapist as his tool. The networking event landed me the job because Allah gave me the resources to attend the event. That becomes Allah wrote this job for me and used that event as the cause. Now I can go on and on, but notice there's each shifted statement places Allah SWT first. The means remain. We don't throw away the medicine or the apology, or the hard work or the savings. We simply see them for what they are, as not being the original source. Belief in Allah comes first. So now let me connect this concept to coaching that would help you implement this a little bit better.
Speaker 1:I teach the formula C-NIR. That stands for Circumstances, nervous System Thoughts, emotions, actions and Res results. The circumstances are the asbab, they're the situations outside of you. They're out of your control. Someone cut you in traffic, your child spilled milk. Your boss gave you a critical performance review. These are all facts in the world. The N for the nervous system, thought refers to how your mind interprets the world while wearing the virtual reality headset. It gives you information. Your brain attaches meaning to the events through language. You don't just sit in traffic, you're experiencing it with your mind and body. You can think this is annoying, people are late, why can't people drive properly? Or you might think this is an opportunity to listen to a podcast.
Speaker 1:Then comes emotion. That is the E in the formula. Your interpretation, your perception through the virtual reality headset create your emotions in the body. Emotions like anger, frustration, joy, gratitude, sadness or even indifference. These emotions give fuel to actions. Actions can only flow from what you're feeling. High vibration emotions like gratitude, curiosity, lead to constructive behaviors. Low vibration emotions like apathy or jealousy, may lead to inaction or destructive reactions. Then comes the results. These are the outcomes. When you lash out if you feel disrespected, the result might be disconnection in your relationship. When you act from a place of curiosity and trust, you might build deeper relationships.
Speaker 1:So why am I telling you this in a discussion about illusion of the world? Because this is the framework that helps you to see your perceptions shape your reality. And this approach focuses on what goes beyond changing your behavior, like just stop yelling or save more or meditate every day. All of those actions are important, but that's only a very shallow level of awareness. The higher levels of awareness ask you to recognize your emotions and choose them differently. They ask you to examine your thoughts and decide which one serves you the best.
Speaker 1:And this level of awareness helps you understand that your thoughts, not your circumstances, cause your emotions. The situations, the means around you, the asbab, never cause your emotions. This is one of the highest level of awareness we can observe a situation, recognize our initial thought about it, our protective, ego-driven interpretation, which is usually the default, and then choose a thought that aligns with your values and higher trust in Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. That aligns with your values and higher trust in Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. So then comes the highest level of awareness, and that is, you get to see all of these circumstances as neutral. This is where spiritual growth is very much connected with personal growth. A circumstance of your kids being away for two weeks during summer vacation to be with their grandparents this is neutral. It's neither inherently positive or negative. It does not cause your happiness or your sadness. Your thoughts about these circumstances do so.
Speaker 1:The idea of neutrality of circumstance that your asbab are an illusion, that's what graduates you to a higher level of mental health, and this whole idea can be challenging because you're conditioned since childhood to believe that certain circumstances are objectively good Getting married, having children, being wealthy and others are bad Failing exams, being single, losing money but at a deeper level, they are all neutral. The meaning you assign to them determines your emotional experience. That's what's going to determine how charged the circumstance is for you and that's what's going to determine if you can actually see the circumstance as a suburb, an illusion, and see Allah's wisdom behind it or not. Now I'm going to make something very clear. This does not mean you become a robot and detach completely. It just means that you reclaim your agency. If you understand that your mind's initial interpretation filtered through social conditioning, personal history fears the lower brain, if you understand that that is not the only possible interpretation, you can choose differently. That is extremely freeing, and this is where the illusion comes in.
Speaker 1:It comes from recognizing that even the circumstances themselves marriage, money, children are not true agents of your happiness or sorrow. They are the means through which Allah SWT tests you and blesses you. They are the means through which Allah swt tests you and blesses you. If you think my happiness depends on a spouse on a subconscious level, or that your peace depends on your bank account, then the moment those things change, your world collapses. That's because you've placed the asbab before Allah swt. You've put charge into the circumstances Instead. Imagine thinking Allah grants me happiness and uses my spouse as one of the ways to do it, allah grants me peace and uses my financial stability as a mean. Then, if the means change, you can anchor yourself in the trust that Allah's plan is unfolding and he will bring me benefit through some means or another.
Speaker 1:This is what non-attachment from sabbath looks like. You use the means but you don't depend on them. You know that this sabbath is neutral and you don't have emotional charge attached to it. And this becomes especially powerful when dealing with difficult emotions like jealousy. She has a nicer house, he is more successful. Why did she get married and I didn't? Why did her husband take her to vacation and mine didn't? If circumstances are neutral and Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, determines the benefit through your mind in these circumstances, then jealousy loses its basis Because in that case, the vacation, the marriage, the house becomes a neutral circumstance, even if it belongs to others. You will have a choice to see others blessings as a part of their test and your blessings as a part of yours. You can celebrate with them without feeling that their means diminish yours. You cannot see the sabbub, the means and the circumstances as an illusion if you're emotionally charged by them.
Speaker 1:If you believe that your circumstances create your emotions, you will stay entangled with them. When your job defines your self-worth, you will be constantly riding a roller coaster of pride and panic based on your performance reviews. When you fall into the trap of marriage becoming the cause of your happiness. You will feel ecstatic when things are smooth and devastated when they're in tension. This is the quickest way of losing internal peace attaching your emotions to a circumstance and, fortunately for us, that is just a mistake that we're making. We can unlearn this pattern.
Speaker 1:As long as you think that your circumstances cause your emotions, you won't be able to separate yourself from the world. You will remain attached to the story that this thing made me feel this way, and if you can't separate, you cannot imagine those circumstances as an illusion. You will continue to depend heavily on them and as long as they continue to feel this powerful, you will struggle to see Allah SWT as the true creator of these circumstances. This is why it is extremely important for you to start thinking of these asbab as an illusion, because only then can you see the reality of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala through and beyond the means of this world. And this has immense practical application. Let's say, if you're laid off from the job, the initial thought might be I lost my income, I'm in trouble. Your nervous system will trigger fear and your attached sense of security through your employment will trigger. But if you see the job as a circumstance neutral and you remind yourself Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, is the sustainer. He used this job to provide for me. He can provide through another means.
Speaker 1:The emotional charge dissipates, the shift from panic to trust becomes easier. This does not mean that you're ignoring the reality of needing to find work. It means that you act from a place of stability rather than desperation, because that's what's going to make it likely that you do find the next job. Or let's say your friend gets engaged and you don't. Your thought might be I'm being left behind. This isn't fair, sometimes underlying tones of jealousy, and that chains you to the circumstance. If the friend getting engaged is no longer neutral to you, it has emotional charge attached then it will be nearly impossible for you to reframe it to yourself towards the healthy side meaning it will be hard for you to think that this engagement is her blessing. And I have a different path For you to reframe any circumstance for you to see through your virtual reality headset, you have to make the circumstance neutral so you can see the other side, so you can give your circumstance another meaning.
Speaker 1:That happens because when you remove the emotional charge, you regain your agency. You see that your thoughts about the circumstance, not the circumstance itself, has created your emotion and, beyond that, you're able to see that Allah is the only and the real source of sustenance, security and peace, and you use the means without being enslaved by them. If your child spills juice on the carpet just as the guests arrived, your initial thoughts might be this is a disaster. Why does this always happen to me, creating anger, embarrassment, resentment. But if you recognize that this is a neutral circumstance and you take the charge away from it, you can reframe it as this is just juice on the carpet. Allah is teaching me patience through my child, and you might even have the opportunity to respond calmly.
Speaker 1:The neutral circumstance, the actions of a child, become a sabab through which you're seeing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's plan play out, which might be to make you a more patient human, along with other things. So from now on, I want be to make you a more patient human, along with other things. So from now on, I want you to notice your language, start listening to how you and others speak about causes and effects and if you catch yourself saying anything that puts the sabab before Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, gently correct yourself. Practice neutrality of the world around you. Correct yourself, practice neutrality of the world around you. If something happens and it inherently looks positive or negative to you, challenge yourself to see the neutrality in it. Ask yourself what do I want to make this mean? What thought can I choose here? And you will notice the next thought that the brain offers you will be much more elevated than the first one.
Speaker 1:Reconnect with all of the illusions of the world with intention. Before you take medicine, before you invest, before you accept an invite, intend in your heart I'm turning to Allah SWT to bring about the benefit that these means can provide, that he has placed in front of me. This makes all of the means and the asbab an act of worship rather than an act of declaration of independence from Allah's design. Continue to work to elevate your awareness and, of course, be patient with yourself. And while I tried to do justice to this concept because I was integrating a lot, I'm still a beginner student of the teacher Usama Iyad Al-Sharfa. What I'm sharing is my current understanding, but as I continue to learn more, I will share further with you guys.
Speaker 1:To me, coaching, spirituality, mental health are extremely closely linked. Understanding the illusion doesn't mean that you stop engaging with the world. It just means that you do it through the place of clarity and trust. When women coach with me, they go through the levels of awareness. Eventually they start to see how their thoughts are creating their emotions and finally they're able to separate themselves from their circumstances and start to see them as neutral. This is super powerful. With that, I pray to Allah. Grant me and all of us the clarity to see beyond the veils of this world. Help us trust that every benefit comes from you alone and that the means you provide are the only path to your mercy. O Allah, remove the emotional weight that I attach to my circumstances and let my heart find peace in your decree. And let my heart find peace in your decree. Strengthen my faith so that I place you before every cause and guide me to act with sincerity, patience and gratitude. Ameen, ya Rabbul Ameen, please keep me in your duas. I will talk to you guys next time.