Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Strongest Form of Self Love
Discipline isn’t punishment, it’s the highest form of self-respect. It’s waking up and choosing your future, even when no one is watching. It’s keeping promises to yourself, following through on your goals, and refusing to let procrastination or perfectionism steal your success.
If you’ve ever wondered why others don’t respect your time, your boundaries, or your priorities, ask yourself: Do I respect my boundaries?
This episode will shift the way you see discipline, confidence, and self-worth forever. Discipline is the strongest form of self-love.
Press play and start showing up for yourself the way you deserve.
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Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Aftar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.
Speaker 1:Today I'm going to give you a definition of self-love that you most likely haven't heard before. A little while ago, I came across a very strong concept around self-love. It says discipline is the highest form of self-love, and it stuck with me so much that my brain's been churning on it ever since my wheels are turning. So then I finally decided to make a podcast out of it, because it is such a helpful concept. If you started measuring self-love based on the level of commitment to yourself that you keep, as in if you want a business, a new life, stability, purpose and you do what you said you would, that's you prioritizing yourself, and through this level of self-love you create peace and you wake up one day knowing that you've built something real, something meaningful. Loving yourself so far has been a little bit about relaxation me time it's a little bit about comfort, and it's also a little bit about feeling inspired and motivated, but it is much more about your commitment to yourself if you keep the word that you give to yourself Every time you wake up and you recommit to a dream. Every time you sit down and take even a smallest step forward, you're proving to yourself that you're someone that follows through. Just because you committed to that to yourself Someone who values herself enough to keep going, even when it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Discipline is self-trust in action. It's proof that you believe in your own potential enough to nurture it every single day, even if you don't feel like it. And if you want others to respect you, if you want to be seen as capable, strong, worthy, even an object of admiration, then don't worry about how they are showing up for you. Focus on if you are showing up in the highest form of self-respect for yourself. Focus on if you are showing up in the highest form of self-respect for yourself, and all of these things will come into place. No one else will respect you and none of their respect will ever matter if you don't respect yourself first.
Speaker 1:We make other people's respect towards us so much about them following our boundaries when we are the first one who are breaking our boundaries with us. It's only about how you treat yourself. Every time you make a promise to yourself and you keep it, you reinforce your own worth. Every time you say I'll start that tomorrow and you actually do it, there's trust building happening. But every time you push your needs aside, your brain gets a little better at ignoring you. Every time you break your commitment aside, your brain gets a little better at ignoring you. Every time you break your commitment to yourself, you send a different message, which is my goals don't matter, my dreams can wait. I am not a priority. Imagine if a friend treated you like that Constantly canceling plans, making big promises but never following through, ignoring what's important to you and always putting you last.
Speaker 1:How long would it be before you stopped believing her? How long you'd be before you'd know in your heart that you're not important to her? And now just ask how often do you do that to yourself? Showing up for yourself is an act of self-loyalty. It's standing by your side even when it's hard, even when you don't feel like it, even when no one's watching. It means choosing your own growth, not because it's easy, but because you've decided you deserve it. It's doing the things you said you'll do, not just for the results, but because keeping the promise to yourself is that important to you. Self-respect is that important to you. If you don't show up for yourself, then it's not reasonable for you to expect that others will.
Speaker 1:Choosing progress over perfection. Choosing showing up for yourself is how you make self-love a daily practice. You have big goals, ambitious goals, the kind that stretch you and challenge you. If you're being honest, they scare you a little. You want to build something meaningful, create a life of freedom, impact, fulfillment, but perfection creeps in, it stops you. You think to yourself it has to be flawless, it has to be the best. If I can't do it right, I shouldn't do it at all. And that's where dreams go to die. Perfectionism is very lucrative. It makes you feel like you're holding yourself in a highest standard, when really it's just fear wearing a fancy disguise. It convinces you that waiting until you have everything figured out is the wise thing, when really it's just an excuse to stay stuck.
Speaker 1:Progress, not perfection, is how you build self-trust, is how you build the life you want, because nobody's success ever came with giant, flawless leaps. It comes in small, messy, imperfect steps. Every time you move forward, you teach yourself that you are someone who takes action, someone that trusts herself, that you'll figure things out as you go, that your worth is not tied to an idealized version of success, but the fact that you show up for yourself daily. That's self-love in action. Not waiting for a perfect moment, not waiting until you feel confident, not waiting until everything is just right, but just choosing to move, to grow, to build, even when things look messy, because, at the end of the day, it's not perfection that ever got anybody their goals, it's momentum. If you're trying to build wealth, it doesn't just happen, and it's not luck or magic, something that's reserved for those people who just get the money. If you want to build wealth, it's built step by step, decision by decision, and the moments that matter the most are the ones where no one's watching and you use your money in a way that you said you would.
Speaker 1:It's very easy to get excited about financial goals when you're feeling inspired, when you're talking about investments, business strategies. But what about when you're not riding that high, when no one's cheering you on, when you're not learning new information? That makes you feel excited about this prospect? When that excitement fades, when you're alone with your thoughts, that's when you get to choose do you follow through or do you let this slip? That's when self-worth shows up, because honoring your long-term financial goals if that happens to be your value is never, ever, just about numbers. It's about the kind of person you're becoming. It's about seeing yourself as someone who's worthy of this wealth, worthy of financial independence. As someone who's worthy of this wealth, worthy of financial independence, making smart money moves even when instant gratification calls your name. It's choosing to invest in yourself with your own attention and your commitment, instead of waiting for someone else to give you permission. Whether it looks like setting aside money for the future investments, financial planning, whether it looks like meeting up with a financial advisor saying no to impulse spending, all of those decisions are deposits in your self-love bank, not because you're depriving yourself, but because you respect yourself enough to build long-term security. When you make these disciplined financial choices in private, you build a foundation of self-trust. You prove to yourself that you're not just sitting hoping for wealth. You're creating it.
Speaker 1:Your higher brain, the part of you that wants to be disciplined, intentional and connected to Allah, sets goals with the best intentions. It says I will wake up for tahajjud, I will read Quran every day. I will make dhikr with presence, I will prioritize my prayer to be on the perfect time and when the moment comes your toddler brain, which is wired for comfort, distraction, instant gratification, it will throw a tantrum. It will say I'm tired, I'll pray in a little bit. It will throw a tantrum. It will say I'm tired, I'll play in a little bit. One skipped day won't hurt, I'll start fresh tomorrow.
Speaker 1:This is where true confidence is built, true self-respect, strongest form of self-love. Not in the planning, not in the imagining the best outcome, but following through when the toddler brain is screaming comfort. But following through when the toddler brain is screaming comfort. When you consistently break your own promises, your subconscious learns that your word does not mean much. But when you follow through, every time you keep your promise, especially when it's hard, you prove to yourself I can trust myself, my word to myself holds weight, I do what I say I will do, and then your whole identity shifts for the better.
Speaker 1:Discipline in Islam is a part of your spiritual strength. Following through to your worship goals. That's true sincerity. It's the waking up for fajr when your bed feels like a cloud. It's resisting the urge to rush through the prayer even when you're busy. It's keeping up with your daily Quran learning habit. This is how you forge your real, true spiritual confidence, because you are trusting yourself, you're honoring your commitments to worship, and you build an inner certainty that then extends to every part of your life, inner certainty that then extends to every part of your life your finances, your relationships, your ambitions. Your self-love is about showing up again and again, even when your toddler brain protests. It's about choosing your honor with yourself, and the more you do it, the stronger your self-trust becomes, until one day that discipline isn't something that you're struggling to find or creating. It just becomes a part of who you are.
Speaker 1:Just like you label somebody as disappointing and unreliable when they promise something but they never follow through, your subconscious mind is labeling yourself as such when you say something and you never follow through. Your subconscious mind is labeling yourself as such when you say something and you never follow through. The way you show up for yourself is what teaches others how to treat you. When you respect your own time, your own energy, your commitments, you carry yourself entirely differently, and that's how other people learn to treat you with respect as well. And you don't treat yourself this way just by accident. This level of self-prioritization takes intention, because perfectionism, procrastination and self-doubt is what comes naturally. That's what comes by default. So spend some energy and decide for the next few days that you're going to prioritize your word to yourself, because people aren't you just don't treat you that way by accident. They take cues from you, they watch how you carry yourself, how you speak about yourself and, most importantly, how you honor yourself.
Speaker 1:If you constantly put yourself last when you say yes, when you actually mean no, or you allow your own needs to be an afterthought, don't be surprised when others do the same. If you cancel on yourself, skipping personal goals, procrastinating on dreams, letting your boundaries slip, you are silently teaching others that your time, energy, priorities are flexible, optional or, even worse, just plain, outright unimportant. When you respect your own self, you walk differently, you set the tone and you radiate a present that says since I take myself seriously, you should too. When you honor your boundaries, when your highest self set for you, then people stop assuming that they can push them. When you prioritize yourself with respect, people respect you. And if they don't, you start to recognize it immediately, because you're so used to treating yourself well that any sort of mistreatment will stand out like a red flag.
Speaker 1:And this self-respect is not about arrogance. You don't demand respect from you because you're judging them to be inferior. You model it, you lead with it and people see that you hold yourself to a higher standard and they will rise to meet it. So give them that chance or let them fall away because they can't keep up. So, before you start asking this question, why don't people respect my time, my energy, my worth, my effort? Ask yourself this where am I not respecting my time, my energy, my worth, and am I showing up for me? Because the answer will become very clear. The way you treat yourself is the blueprint of how the world will respond to you. It's a set of instructions that you're putting out into the universe, instructions that everyone else will follow.
Speaker 1:At the end of it all, discipline is not about restriction, as otherwise believed. It is all about freedom the freedom to build wealth, create success, deepen your faith and live a life that reflects your true worth. So start asking yourself what would change in my life if I treated my goals as non-negotiable. What would my life look like if discipline was the highest form of self-love I give myself? With that, I pray to Allah SWT. Ya Allah, make us the people who keep our promises to you, to others and especially to ourselves. Give us the strength to do what we said we would do, especially when it's hard, especially when no one's watching. Ya Allah, remove the hesitation, remove the fear and take the doubt away that holds us back. Ya Allah, replace it with trust, action and commitment. Ya Rabb, let our discipline be the reflection of our self-love and the reflection of our highest faith in you. Ameen, ya Rabbul Aalameen, please keep me in your du'as. I will talk to you guys next time.