Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Personal Spirituality: Expanding Pathways of Worship
What does it mean for a Muslim woman to truly embrace her spiritual journey?
This episode invites you to explore the diverse and expansive pathways of worship, encouraging Muslim women to see spirituality in everyday actions like a walk in the park or a moment of heartfelt empathy. You'll learn how to move beyond routine notions of worship, finding solace and strength in acts that resonate with your heart and soul.
Worship is a gateway to rejuvenation and intentional living, cleansing the heart and mind to reconnect with your essence and the Divine.
This episode is an invitation to trust your instincts, honor your journey, and celebrate the sacredness of every step on the spiritual path towards Allah SWT.
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Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Atar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.
Speaker 1:Today I'm going to talk about prayers and ibadah. When you think about connecting with Allah SWT, prayers and ritualistic ibadah is the first thing that comes to mind, and rightly so. These are very strong pillars of Islam and we've been taught them for a reason. They anchor us in our faith. But what I want to bring your attention to today is something beautiful that I realized that all of the worship is not confined to the obligatory prayers, prayers on the mat or a moment of dhikr. It is far more expansive Awareness, mindfulness, connection with other people. All of it can be used in ways that are deeply personal and uniquely your ways of worship, and I want to emphasize this point because for Muslim women, it is especially important to recognize these alternative ways of Ibadah.
Speaker 1:When there's an overemphasis on obligatory prayers and, like I said, it's for good reason Fard prayers, obligatory prayers. You're sinful if you don't perform them, and they have a time and a place, and I'm not questioning their importance. What I'm trying to tell you is there's a lot more beyond the structured and the disciplined. A woman's spirituality very often is relational. It's flowing, it's flexible, it's intertwined with the rhythms of daily life. But many of us have internalized the belief that if my worship doesn't exactly look like somebody else's at the mosque especially the imams or it doesn't exactly mirror the traditional model, it's somehow less valid and it couldn't be further from the truth, especially as evident in our faith. So just think about it. Maybe the most proud moments of your connection with Allah SWT aren't in the mosque, but in the quiet of your home, during your acts of service, during the moments of empathy, or just serving a cup of tea to yourself, reflecting on his blessings. Perhaps you feel closest to him during the walk in nature, noticing the intricate details of creation. Maybe you notice him the most in a crowded room, connecting with people. Maybe your worship is woven into the care you give to your family, the compassion you show to others. Maybe it's in the movement of your body during exercise or the healthy nutrition that you provide your body.
Speaker 1:I want to dedicate this podcast to normalizing a woman's spiritual journey. Your path to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, does not have to look like anyone else's. It does not have to follow a strict formula and it definitely does not have to look like anyone else's. It does not have to follow a strict formula and it definitely does not have to fit into a preconceived mold. You have the freedom to embrace what feels authentic to you, what feels good to you, and that's what leads to the deepest connection, because that's what's sustainable. Worship is found in the stillness of your mind, the rhythm of your relationship or maybe even the joy of creativity. It's about finding these practices that allow you to feel present, aware and aligned with Allah's creations. So let's release the judgment that says worship only looks a certain way, a way that's described mostly in books, the way that was taught to you by your teachers, and let's create space for women to explore what brings them closer to Allah, without guilt or shame.
Speaker 1:Your spiritual journey, your worship, is valid, meaningful and sacred just as it is. So it starts with a non-judgmental self-acceptance. That's absolutely foundational. You cannot fully connect to Allah SWT if you're caught in the cycle of guilt and self-acceptance. That's absolutely foundational. You cannot fully connect to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala if you're caught in the cycle of guilt and self-criticism, because when you judge yourself harshly for feeling the way you do. You build a wall between your heart and your awareness, between your body and your mind, and this is kind of like trying to see clearly through a fogged window. True awareness, the kind that allows you to connect deeply with Allah through your body, begins with the courage to accept yourself exactly as you are, flaws and all, but also knowing that not any flaw is inherent. Your worth as a soul that was created pure by Allah is 100%. Your worth is 100 percent intact at all times.
Speaker 1:Non-judgmental self-acceptance means giving yourself permission to feel without labeling feelings bad or wrong. It means resisting the urge to turn every shortcoming into a weapon against yourself. So it's very easy for women to imagine this on a friend. If you imagine a friend coming to you for comfort and she's burdened with guilt or shame, would you pile on more criticism on her or would you gently remind her of their worth and encourage them to move forward with love? That's how you need to treat yourself.
Speaker 1:Once you start accepting your shortcomings with non-judgmental self-acceptance, then connecting with Allah becomes very easy and it no longer requires hours of uninterrupted time, even though if you have that time and you dedicate it to remembrance of Allah, that is even superior. A long stretch of time or small, intentional moments, either time of stillness, can and will create profound shifts. So, while we're celebrating your unique path to connection, it's very much about discovery what works for you. What could it possibly look like for you? It does not have to look like what anyone around you is doing. Just think about what draws you closer to Allah. For some, it might be the rhythm of a very structured prayer, while for others it could be something entirely different, like keeping a gratitude journal or connecting with friends deeply or throwing a party.
Speaker 1:Let me share a story about somebody recently I coached who was a revert. She avoided going to the mosque because she feared judgment of others. She didn't know how to pray and she was afraid that people would notice. And months went by in this situation and her fear grew heavier, creating this invisible barrier between her and her community that she was longing to join, and it was bothering her, which is why she was seeking coaching. The problem was never her lack of knowledge, but it was her lack of awareness around her fear that was holding her back the fear of judgment. Without awareness of what you're fearing, what you're thinking, what you're believing, it becomes nearly impossible to connect deeply with Allah. So with her, just a simple act of awareness made her realize that the fear was unfounded. The reason she wanted to go to a mosque was to learn how to pray. So of course she was going to act like a beginner. Of course she might even make mistakes, but it was just about her accepting herself. She was in judgment for herself that was then being reflected on other people, that other people might judge her. And once she realized that, she immediately made plans to meet up with friends at the mosque to start her journey of learning the prayers. Non-judgmental self-reflection and awareness opened the door to recognizing her fear, which then led to a very quick solution. And in her case, her mode of connecting with Allah was the first step of learning how to pray.
Speaker 1:For you, it might be moments of quiet, stillness, movement, creativity. Maybe it's through art, maybe it's through writing. If you elevate your intention with awareness prior to any act, it can be converted to an act of worship. Worship does not always have to feel like a struggle. It can be created into something that flows naturally into your life, something that's comforting, warm, open and inviting. Your unique path to Allah SWT is valid and it's worth exploring. The more you make worship relatable to your life, the more meaningful it will become, if you work to come out of the conditioning that has led you to believe that if your worship doesn't mirror exactly what you've seen others do, then it might not be as important. Prioritize the perfect recitation of the Quran, prioritize perfecting your salah, but also don't undermine your deeply introspective moments. Don't judge them as being less or that you must always be doing more, or that you're doing something wrong, because that's going to become an exhausting battle, that's going to become a disheartening narrative that will keep you from truly embracing your connection with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Speaker 1:The reason you might be undermining your particular acts of rabadah, your particular acts of prayer, is that you were never taught to trust your own judgment. From a young age, a girl is very likely guided to follow what's commonly accepted, to look at others and mimic the behaviors. And yes, guidance is valuable in a lot of ways, but if it's done enough to strip away the confidence of an individual, if it's done enough so that they cannot explore what spirituality actually is meaningful to them, then it's been overdone. I'm not asking you to abandon tradition or to never take guidance from a mentor, especially when it comes to spiritual scholars. I'm just asking you to add depth and personalization to it. Add your own personality to it. Breaking free from overall judgment is extremely liberating when it comes to your acts of prayers, when you don't have that weight on your shoulders, as you allow yourself to worship in a way that resonates with your heart, when you learn to trust your instincts, your practice of prayers will completely transform.
Speaker 1:Anything that's not overtly declared haram can all be valid forms of worship when done with sincerity. Before engaging in any act, pause and pray, o Allah. I'm doing this for you. Let this count as worship, as service, as care for what you've entrusted to me. When you offer your intentions with sincerity, even the simplest acts will become profound. Your worship is a journey between you and your creator. Learning to trust and honor your inner compass is a part of your practice, and that self-trust is what helps you explore and connect to yourself, and through recognizing yourself is how you get to recognize Allah SWT. So let me give you some examples of what your worship might look like.
Speaker 1:For some people, movement is extremely spiritual, allowing you to connect to Allah SWT through the physicality of your body. Maybe it's walking, running, stretching, extreme fitness exercises, slow, intentional movements, all of that paired with conscious intention to connect with Allah. Then there's worship during relationships, your intentions towards others, your family, friends, community at large. These are also branches of worship. Islam immensely emphasizes the importance of maintaining good relationships. Family bonding, cooking, teaching your children, spending quality time with them, being in deep connection with your spouse All of these can be a powerful form of Ibadah Supporting your friends, being present during their struggles, letting them be present for you and help you out. All of these acts can be elevated to worship if you elevate your intention behind them and they can become your specific type of worship Bonds of brotherhood, sisterhood, bonds of community with the larger ummah, all through the prophetic tradition. Maybe your relational engagement is at the community level, with volunteering, mentoring or just simply showing kindness to neighbors, to strangers. If your sense of worship comes from a sense of unity that fulfills you when you help a stranger out, then elevate your intention behind it and ask Allah to accept it as such.
Speaker 1:And then creativity as worship writing and reflecting, being creative with cooking, gardening, home decor, art, being creative with presentations, with conversations, being creative in technology at your workplace. You have so many chances of elevating your everyday actions into worship and making it and calling it your own. All that awaits is your awareness and your intentionality around it. Then there's service as act of worship, charity again helping others or creating sustainability in the environment, caring for the planet, planting trees, reducing waste, being mindful in your consumerism. Then there is stillness and reflection, a meditative state of dhikr, remembrance, a gratitude practice, mindful breathing. Then there is knowledge acquisition, learning and growth, of course, between studying the. Then there is knowledge acquisition, learning and growth, of course, between studying the Quran and the Hadith, but also your professional development, your reading or listening to audiobooks. All of this done with the intention of elevating yourself, with the intention of taskiyatun nafs, or purifying your heart.
Speaker 1:Anything you do with the highest intention, in the name of Allah, will become your unique practice of worship. A very simple intention that I usually go to is that, oh Allah, make this act for you, purify my intentions, and that I'm doing this for you and to bring my heart closer to you. All of these seemingly diverting types of worship. It shows you that spirituality is not confined to just specific rituals, although rituals are important, but it's possible that your spirituality will flourish a different way. Embrace these practices and watch how they transform not only your connection with Allah but your connection with yourself and the world around you, and then persistently trust your practice, because it's very easy to fall into the trap of comparison. You look around and you see others praying more, reciting longer surahs and attending all of the events at the mosque and you wonder am I doing this wrong? Am I doing enough? If your comparison is helping elevate you, then keep those thoughts, but if you're using that as a self-badgering device, then comparison is not helping you. The constant effort to measure up has a risk of leaving you with feelings of inadequacy, and inadequacy does not create a closer connection to Allah.
Speaker 1:Subhanahu wa ta'ala, your relationship with Allah is deeply personal. Your job is learn to trust your practice, and trusting your practice means acknowledging that your path to Allah looks exactly like the way you're doing it. Maybe your connection right now does not involve long hours of prayers or perfectly memorized recitations, and that might be okay. Allow yourself that your worship is about sincerity. We aim for perfection, but we might never be able to reach it. This self-trust, this trusting your practice, very much means letting go of need of validation from others. Nobody knows the reality of sincerity or struggles in your heart except for Allah SWT. So why look anywhere else for validation?
Speaker 1:The goal of worship at its heart, the main reason of Ibadah, is not about ticking boxes. It's about honoring the sacred, the process of cleansing your soul and remembering the divine in the purest form as the ultimate creator, as the ultimate sustainer. Life, by its very nature, on this earth is messy. There's stress, distractions and all of these worldly concerns that pile up like grime on a window, clouding your perspective and dimming your spiritual clarity. Worship is the act of wiping that window clean, allowing the light of Allah's mercy and guidance shine through. You're allowed to approach worship and think of it as a form of spiritual rejuvenation, as an opportunity to pause, breathe, reconnect, starting with reconnecting with the essence of who you are, as a servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, created with purpose and with dignity. Worship is meant to soften your heart. It's not to be used to leave you feeling inadequate. Worship is supposed to help preserve your wellness, your mental, emotional and physical well-being, and if, at any point, it stops doing that, you need to redirect your efforts into a worship that can sustain all of that.
Speaker 1:Alhamdulillah, islam provides a beautifully comprehensive framework for renewal. It centers on the preservation of five essential aspects of life religion, life, intellect, lineage and wealth. These priorities reflect on the balance that ibadah or worship is meant to bring in your life. Worship isn't always about pushing yourself to do more. Sometimes it's about slowing down and reflecting what can I do better. Sometimes it's about quality over quantity.
Speaker 1:Worship is about finding practices that rejuvenate you, cleaning the clutter from your heart and mind so you can live with intention and purpose, and that can be through any of the methods that I mentioned and the many others that I haven't mentioned. The invitation here is for you to get back to the essence of who you are and to recognize the essence of the one who created you. With that I pray to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. O Allah, the most merciful and the most loving, I come to you with an open heart, seeking closeness and clarity. Help me cleanse the clutter of my mind and soften the hardness of my heart. Guide me to worship you in ways that bring peace to my soul. Accept my worship in all of your mercy. Grant me the wisdom to trust my journey. Allow me to embrace the practices that draw me near to you. Please keep me in your du'as. I will talk to you guys next time.