Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Multiply Your Joy
Join me as I challenge the deeply ingrained mentality that often places a woman's happiness on the back burner. Together, we explore how prioritizing your joy and well-being can not only enhance your ability to give generously to others but also leave a legacy of self-worth for future generations. Discover self-prioritization, self-respect and value can transform your life.
By redirecting energy towards personal growth, we break generational trauma. Overcome your feelings of guilt and unworthiness and understanding that self-love is an extension of divine love.
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Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Atar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.
Speaker 1:Today, I want to talk to you about a joy that multiplies, a joy that keeps on giving, and you might not have thought about joy in this manner before. Something to consider is that you might be in a position where you want to move mountains to see people you love light up with joy. It might be during Eid or some festivities of Ramadan, about gift giving, about delicious plates of biryanis and kebabs and beautiful outfits. You prepare for weeks, even though you're tired, keeping their joy in mind. You make it about love, togetherness and the joy of celebrating blessings with your family, and you might do all of this even if the wallet is feeling a bit light, and somehow you find a way to make it work. Maybe you think about budgeting better or differently. Maybe you do a lot of DIYs. Maybe you work a few extra hours to afford the special gifts for your nieces and nephews, because you have a very strong spirit of giving that's driving you. You want to share the happiness, the hearing of the laughter and you take pride in your efforts when you see your loved one's face light up with genuine delight.
Speaker 1:But the question I want to actually bring your attention to today is would you do the same for you? Would you move mountains to bring yourself joy? How much effort would you engage in to bring yourself comfort and peace? And I'll bet you'll hesitate. You'll probably first feel guilty about spending money on yourself, especially during any special time of the year like Eid. You'll probably first feel guilty about spending money on yourself, especially during any special time of the year like Eid. You'll justify that this is the time to give others and everyone else, but usually giving everyone else what they need and desire feels like the most important thing in your life. You've been raised with that do for everyone else what you would do for yourself, but when time comes for do it for yourself, it doesn't seem that important. This is a real mentality that runs deep in women. It's like there's an unwritten rule that your happiness should always take a backseat. But imagine your life if you could shake off that guilt and see self-investment as something meaningful.
Speaker 1:Once you start to see your happiness, your self-prioritization as a means to your well-being and not just as a frivolous luxury. When you start seeing it as a necessity, then you are in a much better place to give everyone else freely and with generosity. Taking care of yourself does not mean you're taking anything away from others. It means you're filling your own cup so you can then pour into other people you love. What if putting yourself first, even just occasionally in the beginning, is the most loving thing you can do for anyone around you? How much better you'd feel about yourself if you allowed yourself the space and resources to grow, to heal, to simply experience joy and the guilt that you carry that like somehow you're unworthy of this investment and you don't deserve to give that attention to yourself. This is what holds you back. We've all been conditioned to feel this way.
Speaker 1:As women, it is your responsibility to make your happiness and your acts of self-care not to be seen as weakness or a selfish act, but rather as a radical act of self-love. When you prioritize your well-being, when you invest in something that only is for you, it doesn't mean that you're neglecting the other people who matter to you, but that's actually what the brain presents. It says it's either or. It says you either can give time to yourself or others in your life. The default brain says that when you are prioritizing yourself, that means that it's taking time away from others, and that's rather uncomfortable for women. When that actually is not true, that's black and white thinking. What prioritizing yourself actually means is that you're able to show up more fully and with greater energy, with more patience and joy for others. It is your job to recognize that you're worthy of the same love and generosity you give others, and in doing so, you're not taking those things away from others. You work hard, you sacrifice, you uplift, and that same strength deserves to be poured back into you. Investment in yourself isn't a splurge. It's a declaration of your own worth.
Speaker 1:So in this podcast, I'm going to ask you to question the narrative that says your needs always have to come last. I know it's very easy to dismiss your desires. You've been doing that all of your life, convincing yourself that it's more noble and more selfless to keep sacrificing, to show up for others only. But what if that's only a part of the story? What if, pouring into you, whether you're investing in your own growth, pursuing something you love or prioritizing your emotional well-being? What if doing that actually adds to your love and care you're able to give others. What if doing that puts you in a space where you're not just surviving but truly thriving? You know intellectually that you can't pour from an empty cup. That's a very commonly used line. You know this, but still there's that voice that will whisper you shouldn't be spending money on that, you don't have time to do that for yourself, and that's the voice that you have to recognize and sideline.
Speaker 1:Because when you start to show up for yourself, after ignoring these inner voices, you're teaching your kids, your friends and all of your loved ones that you hold in high regard that they deserve that level of care for themselves too. You're modeling self-respect, showing value in your own happiness. You're telling them that this level of prioritization is not selfish and that's actually a legacy that you can leave for other women and girls in your life. So, starting this week for the practice of this week, start to change that narrative. Allow yourself to receive, to experience joy, to invest in becoming the strongest and the most confident version of you, because you're worth it. Everyone in your life will benefit once you've prioritized yourself.
Speaker 1:Start to ask yourself what if self-investment gave you measurable results, just like an investment in your loved ones. Does that? Imagine how you feel when you gift your loved ones something meaningful, the warmth that lingers in your body, the connection that deepens. Now think that kind of measurable change that happens when you invest in yourself, that deepening of connection, of the relationship with yourself, that warmth that you feel with yourself, about yourself. Start noticing all of the measurable changes that happen in your life when you invest in yourself. Maybe it looks like waking up each morning with a different sense of purpose, not so much of the dread and the overwhelm of all of the things that need to be done. Maybe it looks like noticing that you have more energy to play with your kids, or you have more time and resources to engage more meaningfully with your partner. And it might just look like simple enough as feeling confident to finally speak up at work on being able to conduct meetings with the charisma that you always wanted to. It might look like you're finding peace and comfort, being in your own skin.
Speaker 1:Find measurable returns on your investment in yourself. This week, when you start doing this work, your brain will say this is just a temporary investment, but it's far from that. You're creating long-lasting ripple effect changes, outcomes that elevate your relationships, strengthen your faith and empower you to move through life with grace. Imagine yourself spending money on coaching, education, self-care and watch the returns unfold in so many other measurable ways. Maybe it's just a reduction in your stress levels, maybe you're just laughing a little bit more. Maybe you're able to enjoy an activity that you didn't before. Give your brain the room and flexibility to imagine and find measurable results in your life. That's going to give you a positive feedback loop, because you'll see, once you start investing in yourself, you're reaping the benefits of it on the other end. And all of this isn't just an abstract idea. All of this is backed by science and faith. You're worthy of the investment of time and money, the same way you invest in others. So I strongly advise you to start rewriting that narrative.
Speaker 1:Let's celebrate this new tradition of self-love and investment. If you're waking up early in the morning getting meals together, trying to get a nourishing suhu together for your family, making that also about yourself, creating results of investing in yourself through little acts of self-care, things that you usually believe that you're only capable of doing for others, of seeing your actions for yourself towards yourself, can create a foundation of limitless, unapologetic, nourishing self-care. Maybe the measurable results you see is that you start noticing you're laughing more genuinely and there's more peace and joy in your movement and more confidence in the way you move through the room. The anxiety that used to sit heavy on your chest feels a little bit lighter because now you've equipped yourself more with the tools and strategies to manage it. Maybe you'll see a measurable result, of other people commenting on how calm and present you seem, how you've changed, how you're glowing from inside out. We think the change of justifying self-investment is only internal, but it will pay you off to remember that all of that change radiates outwards. It will touch all of the people in your life. Investing in yourself, while it is a feel-good decision, it is a life-changing decision for the ones that love you. This is a decision that you can track, that you can celebrate and then just take it.
Speaker 1:In the context of Islam, how much importance is placed on self-compassion. The Islamic tradition encourages you to take care of your physical and spiritual well-being. When you invest in yourself, you are honoring your body, you're honoring the one device that is entrusted to you by Allah SWT, and every time you do that, every time you prioritize self-investment, you are going to be reinforcing this idea of your self-worth in your psyche. And since the brain is the most efficient machine, the more you think like this, the easier it becomes for you to think like this in the future. Then you'll start to understand how your self-worth is not tied to any of this, how your self-worth is completely intact and 100% all of the time. Your brain will automatically start to distance itself from the concept that your worth is tied to how well you service others. Your brain will start to find more and more joy in how well you treat yourself, and that creates a legacy that breaks generational trauma, that reshapes how your next generation views herself and her self-worth.
Speaker 1:Continue to ask yourself what measurable outcome do I dream of achieving? Is it peace in my heart? Is it a clear, purposeful mind? Is it a strong relationship? Once you've created these measurable outcomes and evidence of them in your life, you will notice that your celebrations about others, among others around Eid or Ramadan or any other occasion, will become more vibrant. You will notice that your celebrations of other people's happiness that you prioritize so much are not going to drain you. When you give yourself a chance to become everything you are meant to be, everyone around you becomes what they are meant to be, they start to realize their potential.
Speaker 1:Whatever love and joy you drive from bringing happiness to others, imagine turning that same energy inward. You already know how to go above and beyond for the people you care about. You already have it programmed in you to make sure that their hearts are full and their moments are special. You've mastered the art of anticipating their needs, spending time and money to uplift them. You know how to do that very well. But the one most life-altering question you can ask yourself at this junction is what if you directed even a fraction of that energy towards yourself, even a fraction of that thoughtfulness and investment towards yourself? Because you've practiced this act of love a thousand times over, just towards other, you know exactly what it feels like to light up somebody else's day, to make them feel seen, valued and cherished. And I'm trying to make this process extremely easy for you, since you already have all of that neural wiring in you.
Speaker 1:Just imagine using that well-practiced love on yourself and use the same creative, generous thinking that makes you buy the most thoughtful gift, that makes you plan the most heartful iftar gathering. Take the same energy, but this time turn it on yourself. Make yourself the recipient of that creativity. You are not selfish when you're prioritizing your joy. It's a continuation of the love you already put in the world, because the more you have, the more you can share. To start developing this habit, follow what I've already told you and take a minute to plan a moment of joy for yourself. Maybe it's investing in a program that empowers you to grow. Maybe it's spending on a form of self-care that you've put off for a very long time. Maybe it's a coaching experience with me that promises you to elevate your confidence. Maybe it's just an act of kindness directed towards your own heart. It is not completely unfamiliar territory. You already have the blueprint for creating happiness. It's just been turned outwards towards others this entire time.
Speaker 1:So when your brain offers you that this is a foreign idea or I don't know how to do this just calm it down. Just think about what's the next act of love that you were about to perform for somebody else and do it for yourself. It's going to give you the most clear, simplest and the fastest answer possible. When the brain offers you confusion, offer it an answer by making it believe that you're trying to do it for somebody else, but you're actually doing it for yourself. And you're doing all of this work because this is a reminder that you deserve the same thoughtful generosity that you've given other people. You are not only allowed to feel joy, but you're created for that. You're experiencing transformation that will put you at the top of your own priority list. The love you give yourself will ripple out and magnify, and it will have an impact on the world around you that you didn't think was possible. When you thrive, everyone around you will benefit. That's just how women are created. When they have something, their natural inclination is to share. And when you've nurtured your own joy, your natural inclination will be to share that, and that becomes a gift that you keep on giving and it never diminishes.
Speaker 1:With that, I pray to Allah SWT. Ya Allah the most loving and generous, I come to you with a heart full of gratitude, with shukur and thankfulness for my ability to love and give selflessly to others. Ya Rab, just as you've blessed me with the joy of bringing happiness to others, guide me to turn the same love inwards. Teach me to invest in my own well-being without guilt or hesitation. O Allah, help me recognize that I'm worth the same care and generosity that I give to others.
Speaker 1:Ya Allah, fill my heart and my wisdom with the understanding that nurturing myself is an act of honoring your creation. Grant me the confidence to prioritize my well-being and help me see that this investment is not indulgence. O Allah, allow me to experience the deep contentment that I wish for others. O Allah, just like you have allowed me to be the source of light for others, allow me to be the source of that light and warmth for myself. Ya Allah, protect me from the whispers of guilt and unworthiness. Ya Rahman, let my self-love be an extension of your divine love for me, and let this love be a means to draw closer to you. Ameen, ya Rabbul Alameen, please keep me in your du'as. I will talk to you guys next time.