Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
The Abundance Shift
Can success, wealth, and healthy relationships be as testing as poverty or poor health?
In my latest episode of the Islamic Life Coach School Podcast, I explore this profound question and uncover the transformative power of the "abundance shift." And the 3 strategies you need to take to accommodate yourself to blessings.
Ask Allah for success but also for the strength and wisdom to handle these blessings.
Discover how building a strong foundation in faith can prepare us for the trials that come with both ends of the spectrum - success and hardship - and why embracing new, positive emotions requires gentle mental training through neuroplasticity. There needs to an internal preparation for receiving and thriving in Allah's blessings. Picture success and wealth not just as end goals, but as tests that require mental readiness and mindfulness.
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Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Atar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you. You must have heard this ayah before, or especially if you've been listening to this podcast, because I refer to it a lot.
Speaker 1:Allah SWT says in Surah Baqarah, part of ayah 286, allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear. But I started to think what if the burden is wealth or a healthy relationship? What if the burden itself is success? That was the question that prompted the subject of this podcast, which I'm naming the abundance shift. Allah SWT also says in other places in the Quran in surah 64, ayah 15, and then again in surah 8, ayah 28,. It says then again in surah 8, ayat 28,.
Speaker 1:It says and know that your possessions and your children are a test and that with Allah is immense reward. So if kids and wealth are a test and can be a burden, and Allah will not test us with anything more than we can bear, then it is entirely possible that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, will not test us with success, with wealth, with abundance, and it's entirely possible that he will withhold that from us. So stay with me here. What I'm trying to say is, if you're not going to be a better person because of your success, then Allah will just not burden you with it. So when we're asking Allah for children, wealth, success, a respectable job, then we should also be asking Allah for our capacity to hold that success. We should be asking Allah to not make that success a source of a test for us. But it is also a possibility that you'll be tested with poverty. You'll be tested with poor health or infertility not having children. But I do believe if you're going to be tested with either health or infertility not having children but I do believe if you're going to be tested with either end of the spectrum poverty or wealth, children or being childless, a healthy marriage full of intimacy or connection, or being single or being in a marriage that's not fulfilling then when you're asking Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, for abundance in any of these, are asking Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala for abundance in any of these. Also ask him for the capacity to hold the state of abundance, meaning if both spectrums of any situation can be a test, that why not ask Allah to increase you in your capacity to hold success. Ask Allah to allow for expansion before you get the success, so that it doesn't turn into a test.
Speaker 1:Before you aspire to become anything, make sure that you have the capacity to handle it, capacity here being described most basically. First of all, as you don't get so involved in that success that you forget Allah. Main idea here is that you not only pray for success, but also pray for your capacity to hold that success that you forget Allah. Main idea here is that you not only pray for success, but also pray for your capacity to hold that success, so that it does not lead to your spiritual downfall. If success in marriage, money, raising children leads to neglect of religious obligations, then may Allah SWT not subject us to these tests.
Speaker 1:I'm going to talk about first of all the most basic premise. Then I'll give you a more advanced concept. So, before you dive headfirst into the next big aspiration, ask yourself am I building a foundation based in my religion before I build my success? Because the last thing you'd want is to be caught up in the glow of your achievements that you lose sight of the real source of light. To be caught up in the glow of your achievements that you lose sight of the real source of light. And now I want to talk to you about a more nuanced psychological reason for increasing your capacity to hold your success, and that has to do with new and novel emotions.
Speaker 1:If you've lived your life in sadness, self-doubt, loneliness and low confidence, then joy and love or any notion of intimacy is going to create an internal disturbance for you because those emotions are not something you're used to experiencing. So when you ask for a healthy relationship but you're not equipped to sense the joy, you're not ready to hold the fulfillment that comes with the healthy relationship, then you're going to subconsciously end up rejecting it. Joy and love are actually some of the hardest emotions to fully experience Because, as an adult Muslim woman who might have lived her entire life without managing her mind, the most dominant emotions are usually negative. So, through neuroplasticity, that's what the mind gets used to. So when the novelty of love or connection comes along and there is a site and a possibility of a healthy relationship, and it requires for you to be vulnerable, to open up and let go of the fears Fears that something might go wrong, which otherwise your anxiety was constantly speaking to you about when you have to let go of all of these normal states of affairs for yourself, then joy and love are going to feel very threatening. If you have never felt them before in a given situation, then it's going to feel foreign, just as foreign as trying to speak a new language, uncomfortable and unfamiliar.
Speaker 1:If you've never felt intimacy in your marriage before, then any level of intimacy is going to feel unsettling, even if it's coming at you as a product of your dua, directly from Allah SWT, as an answer to your dua. Because at that level, connection to intimacy is not just about feeling close to someone, it's about letting that closeness change you. It almost stretches your mind and it expands your emotional capacity. And that's where your nervous system comes in. This is where the part of your brain that is used to the familiar patterns is going to scream bloody murder. And this is where you're going to safely and gently teach it to adapt to the new norm, the new norm of intimacy and connection that was granted to you by Allah SWT as a result of your dua and because you also asked Allah SWT to let you hold that newfound love. And you do all of that without freaking out or pulling away.
Speaker 1:If you, deep down, believe that your ideal relationship is too good to be true, you will start sabotaging it without even realizing it. It's not that you don't want it, but your nervous system in the background will be saying whoa, this is new territory, I'm not sure if I can actually handle this, and your brain only knows what it's seen before. So if your past experiences have been filled with poor conflict resolution examples or unhealthy relationship models, that's the script your mind is running on. But the good news is that you can rewire these scripts. You can retrain your nervous system to expand your capacity for joy, love and intimacy. It starts with acknowledging that feeling that these things might be uncomfortable at first, and that's okay. That's all a part of growing into the person who you want to become, who can not only handle all of the love but thrive in a deeply fulfilling relationship.
Speaker 1:When you're asking Allah SWT for abundance, whether it's happiness, love, success or anything else, don't just stop there. Make dua that he also gives you the capacity to hold on to all of that goodness, and then getting to work on acting, on changing yourself internally. It's like praying for a big, giant, shiny wrapped gift but not having the capacity to carry it inside your house. You're gonna make du'a for the biggest, shiniest gift, because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has no limit to how much abundance he can give you. But then you also have to work on your muscles to carry that gift with you.
Speaker 1:And if we're going to be honest, feeling unfamiliar emotions like deep happiness or overwhelming love can be a little scary, even if that's what you've been praying for, because it's like you're stepping into a new pair of shoes. Yes, they're stylish and that's exactly what you wanted, but it takes a minute or two to break them in. The same goes for your heart and mind when you step into these new levels of joy and success. Give yourself grace to actually feel it, enjoy it and let it settle in. Even if it takes time, that's okay and that's a part of the process. If what's coming towards you from Allah's abundance as an answer to your dua is new to you, just allow yourself the discomfort of unfamiliarity, just give yourself grace. Simple language to yourself, like I'm learning to feel all of these new emotions is going to go a long way. Over time you're going to train your brain to get comfortable with new levels of happiness and success. It's like going to the gym, but for your emotional capacity. The more you practice feeling these emotions, the more your nervous system will expand to continue to make them familiar without sending out red flags of doubt and discomfort. So the three steps of abundance shift are make dua for that abundance and then make dua for your strength to carry that abundance. Then actively work on expanding your nervous system to handle it, to handle all that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, has in store for you.
Speaker 1:It's not just about receiving blessings, because you won't receive them if you're subconsciously rejecting them. It's about being fully able to live in them. And that, my friend, is where the magic happens. Alhamdulillah. In all reality, we know that Allah's storehouse are unlimited. There is no shortage in what he can bless you with, while there's no shortage of his giving. All of the shortage lies in your ability to receive and hold on to it. If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, all of the shortage lies in your ability to receive and hold on to it. If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet all your favorite foods, but you don't have an appetite that day or you're not hungry, you won't be able to enjoy all of what's being offered. So allow yourself to ask Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, for big things, big dreams, goals, love, success, happiness. But also ask Him to grow your heart and mind and soul to fully embrace and live in these blessings, because there's never a shortage of where he can give from.
Speaker 1:The only limit is how you're able to receive it, and just a little mindfulness goes a long way. Because you're putting all of this effort in outward actions, like you're studying for your future and you're acing exams. You're clocking in hard-working hours at work and you're going above and beyond to prove your work ethic. You're doing all of the right things to become successful, and that's great, because that is a part of the formula. But the thing is, if all of your focus is on the hustle and none on preparing yourself internally for what that hustle is going to grant after your dua gets answered as a result of your hard work, you're going to actually end up pushing all of the success away that you've been working so hard for.
Speaker 1:If you've been praying for more clients in your business or bigger sales, or maybe you're praying for a more beautiful home in a gated community, you've done the work to make it possible, but if you haven't practiced how you're going to show up when these blessings start to roll in inshallah, you might find yourself sabotaging them, because your mind and body will go through the discomfort of living among the very things you've been dreaming of. But it'll be a suddenly overwhelming idea of more clients, a more beautiful house, because all of that might come with different responsibilities that will require a different adaptability on your part. Having the foresight of envisioning that and preparing for it is going to help you receive abundance a lot sooner. It's like spending years on training for a marathon but never actually imagining yourself crossing the finish line. When the day comes, you freeze up or you quit the race, not because you don't think you're capable, because you didn't mentally prepare yourself for what it would feel like to actually win. So while you're putting all of the work outwardly, don't forget on how you're going to handle success when it arrives Practice, awareness, mindfulness. Visualize yourself thriving in these blessings and get comfortable with the idea of having more, because the last thing you want is to walk away from an opportunity you've always wanted, without even realizing that you're walking away All because you weren't ready to embrace the abundance that came with it.
Speaker 1:With a naive mind, success creates just as much pressure as failure If you're constantly worrying about losing what you've gained or if you're consumed about the need to maintain your status, success will feel like a heavy weight rather than a victory. Because, with a beginner's mind, wealth is a test, just like poverty is a test. Having money isn't inherently better or worse than not having it. It's about how you handle it. Wealth can quite possibly become a challenge on its own, like the responsibility of managing it wisely or the temptation to becoming attached to it. Poverty also is the test. It tests your patience, resilience, your outlook in life and hardships.
Speaker 1:Both situations are a test of your character, your faith, your ability to navigate life's ups and downs. Just like that, a successful marriage is a test, just like a divorce is a test. It's easy to assume that staying married is a sign of success, but it's a lot more nuanced than that, because a marriage can be full of challenges that test your ability to communicate, compromise and grow together. Meanwhile, a divorce, although painful, can be a test of your strength, self-worth, ability to heal. Both of these situations can push you, can make you reflect on who you are and what you want to be.
Speaker 1:Circumstances themselves, the lives you're currently living, whether through wealth, poverty, marriage or divorce. They are not inherently good or bad. What matters is how you respond to them your mindset, your faith, your actions that determine if these situations will become opportunities of growth or sources of stress. So don't disregard abundance, marriage, wealth, children, fulfilling relationships, that they're not for you, that they can become tests in your life. Work on training your mind on how you can create a beautiful akhira for yourself through these blessings.
Speaker 1:Keeping in theme of financial independence, let's say you want to start an endowment fund to create generational wealth for yourself or to serve your community. If all you've known around money management is confusion and self-doubt, in that case, even when an opportunity comes knocking on your door, like you see a flyer for a beginner's investment webinar specifically for Muslims, if you don't consider a remote possibility of being able to do this on your own, you're going to find yourself throwing that flyer in the trash. Why? Because your mind is wired for confusion and the status quo, not for stepping into something new and potentially life-changing. If you're scrolling through your WhatsApp messages and you see a flyer for a webinar that could be a step towards financial independence, a different future for you and your family, but instead of feeling excited, you feel a tight knot in the pit of your stomach. It's not because you don't want your dream. It's just because it's something you've never really embodied. You've never really given your mind and body a chance to follow through with the excitement of what it's going to feel like, what you're actually at your goal. You've never given yourself permission to feel the thrill and a rush, or even the slightest excitement of starting this journey with taking this webinar.
Speaker 1:I am pretty sure you fantasized a lot about what it'd be like to have wealth, to live in financial independence. That fantasy is going to feel amazing to you and I'm sure you've imagined it. But here's the difference Fantasy feels good because it's just that imaginary. Your mind and body don't have to go through the discomfort of adapting to the real change of success. Fantasizing a beautiful future is strictly a fantasy that your body yet doesn't believe, that it's possible for you, and even in romantic relationships, if you've always dreamed of having a perfect, loving relationship, but all you have known on a body's level is arguing or emotional distance. So when a partner comes along that actually wants to treat you well, you'll find yourself picking fights and pulling away, not because you don't want connection in a relationship, but because your nervous system is wired for conflict, not for peace. It's going to constantly try to fit a square peg in a round hole. Your body and mind aren't used to the new shape of things.
Speaker 1:If you're dealing with a chronic illness with a child or yourself, and you have a diagnosis that you've been dealing with for a while and you have spent most of the time worrying, preparing for the worst, then if any good news comes, that there's a treatment plan or it's not as debilitating that we originally thought, or there are other options that we can take, in that moment you will almost not know how to handle it. You will find yourself still stuck in worry, still bracing for the bad news, because, again, that's what your mind has been conditioned to expect. You will miss out on embracing all of the opportunities that this diagnosis might bring, or any treatment option might bring, because you're still wired for the old reality. The idea of fantasy, of success, feels really good in our mind because that's exactly where it is just safe and boxed in. It's a dream, and dreams don't require for you to change at the body's level. They don't require for you to grow or to deal with the uncomfortable adjustments that real success demands when it's time for you to actually step into that success. Your mind and body need to be together, they need to be all caught up, they need to be in sync, prepared to handle it.
Speaker 1:So, before you throw that flyer, before you walk away from a partner who treats you right, and before you let worry steal the joy out of your child's life, take a moment to recognize what's happening. Your mind and body are just clinging to the familiar, even if it's not what you want, but also that you have the power to rewire it, to expand your capacity for success, for love and for happiness. It's not just about dreaming for the better future. It's about preparing yourself for the actual reality, to live in it. I invite you to make dua for an insane amount of success. I invite you to make dua for an insane amount of success. Don't hold back. Ask Allah for all of the big dreams, the wealth, the love, everything your heart desires. But here's the key Also, make dua that Allah gives you the capacity to handle it, because the last thing you want is for success to come knocking at your door and you turning away, not recognizing that it's there, or you being in overwhelm and not turning away, not recognizing that it's there, or you being in overwhelm and not knowing what to do when it's there, because in that moment, if you're not prepared for it, it will start to feel like a burden and for sure in that case it will turn into a test. So, after you've made your two-part dua, it's time for you to roll up your sleeves and get to work on creating the internal change that you need.
Speaker 1:It's not just about asking for blessings. It's about becoming the person who can receive them, who can thrive in those blessings. If you're successful and having a hard time handling it, hire a coach. If you're on your way to success and you don't know how you'll deal with it when you arrive, hire a coach. If you want your heart and mind to expand, to hold the nuances of success, hire a coach. Alhamdulillah, we're having an insane amount of success with our clients. We're in the program. My ultimate goal is for you to be able to coach yourself and be able to monitor and direct yourself.
Speaker 1:So the next time when something healthy and good comes along your way, there will be a part of you that will resist it, not because it's not right, but just because it's different and unfamiliar, is unsafe to the mind, even if it's exactly what you always wanted, preparing yourself for that is the abundance shift, a transition from a mindset of scarcity to that of capacity.
Speaker 1:It's shifting perspectives to recognize and attract the fullness of life's blessings and to prepare for them ahead of time so you can handle it when it arrives, you can welcome it and you can live into it without sabotaging it.
Speaker 1:And, ironically, when you actually practice this mindset, you will find that success has always been a lot closer than you thought. With that, I pray to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. O Allah, I ask you for abundant success in this life and the next, for all of us. Grant us the blessings that our heart desires and increase us in wealth, knowledge, love, joy. But, o Allah, I also ask with deep desire for you to expand our capacity to fully embrace and sustain your blessings. Strengthen my heart, my mind, strengthen my soul, so I do not overlook or shy away from any success that you give me. Guide me to make the internal change necessary so that I'm ready to welcome the answer to my duas to you. Allow me and all of us to only pursue things with gratitude that please you. O Allah. Ameen, ya Rabbul Alameen, please keep me in your duas. I will talk to you guys next time.