Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Invisible Minority Tax
Can understanding the invisible burdens of the "minority tax" transform your life? In this episode we work to reveal thehidden challenges faced by marginalized individuals due to discrimination based on factors like immigrant status, skin color, and age.
We dissect how these "taxes" affect financial stability, mental health, and upward mobility, and discuss actionable strategies to overcome these unseen obstacles. Acknowledge these challenges so you can better equip yourself to navigate through them.
We also talk about how spiritual growth offers a robust framework for dealing with these challenges.
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Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Atar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.
Speaker 1:I've been thinking about this topic of how much work I've had to put towards my success after Allah grants me the means to this success. In regards to how much work you have to put towards your success, it might be highly variable compared to anybody else in the same field, and all of that comes from marginalized identities. These are parts of you that put you outside of the social norm. These are parts of you that put you outside of the social norm. And all of these marginalized identities are, of course, mental constructs. None of them are rooted in fact. Like you might face discrimination because of your immigrant status, but that does not make you less qualified. You might appear less qualified to somebody else because of the discrimination they hold against you, to somebody else because of the discrimination they hold against you, but eventually, if it makes you feel doubt, it's only because you've believed that discrimination. The discrimination itself has a tax on you, and your work involves not to believe it, this extra work of internal belief and continually creating a belief in your own self-worth is what I'm calling a minority tax. Marginalization because of migration, skin color, language, height. They're not based on factual information. They're based on another human being's construct, and I've spoken a lot about how to protect yourself from this. But today I want to talk about how it collectively affects you and what to do about it.
Speaker 1:So I've told you about this term minority tax. I'm going to define it a little bit more. It means the more marginalized identities you carry, the higher the minority tax. Let's say your parents couldn't eat healthy. They couldn't live a healthy lifestyle because they were always working, trying to keep the expenses paid. Now they have early life health crisis, which becomes a toll on your financial situation. That's a minority tax you're paying Someone who might be born in a household where parents were woke enough to be in charge of their health, had resources.
Speaker 1:You would not have to pay that tax If you don't have the finances sorted out. In the US, having a medical emergency is a fast track towards bankruptcy. And sorting out finances I do not mean you having a gargantuous income. I mean budgeting, investing, being educated on how to use your money effectively. If your parents didn't have financial education, then you coming to financial literacy in your adulthood puts you behind among your peers who might have been taught this in an earlier age. That's a minority tax. You're paying this in an earlier age. That's a minority tax.
Speaker 1:You're paying the tax of discrimination. Is that others thinking less of you? There's your part in it, which, again, you do not have to believe their biases. If you believe you're an older graduate in the field of your work and it's harder for you to get job opportunities, then you have internalized that discrimination and biased belief around ageism, which says younger is better. Your tax of discrimination starts with you working on unlearning that belief. It starts with realizing that you might not get a call back for an interview because of your unpronounceable name. That does not mean that you're an unqualified candidate. That just means that you might have to call them back and follow up and show them that you're suitable for this position. Tell them I want to help you hire me. My name is pronounced like this. Or tell them that they can call you Sam or whatever helps you move towards your goal without diminishing you.
Speaker 1:Upward mobility does not look the same for everyone. There are differences that you hold from the other person. This is your invisible minority tax. But this is not all bad news, and I'm going to tell you why. Let's say you might have to work extra hard because no one else in your family wants to invest in their mental health. They all hold you and each other responsible for their emotions. They all try to control you and each other to help themselves feel better, which never works out because no one wants to be controlled. And now that you're doing all of the work with boundaries and mental work of creating love for your family for the sake of Allah, for the sake of your physical and mental health and even for the sake of your own epigenetics, so that you don't turn on harmful genes in your body by continually living in an enmeshed, stressful family system, when you're doing this work of breaking generational trauma, you're paying the invisible minority tax, because this is extra work that somebody else in your position might not have to do. For you to become the breaking link of victim mentality in your family, you will have to do the work according to your minority tax. The bigger the tax, the more work it involves. So then, with everything else, it boils down to identifying your invisible minority tax, so you can at least do something about it.
Speaker 1:I'm inviting you to define your minority tax with great detail, and it's only done for the purpose of exposing what you're up against. With this information, at least you know what you have to work towards. At least now you have the opportunity to hash out a plan, a timeline, a roadmap of what the next steps are. At least now you can be clear about what hurdles you're facing, so that now you can plan around them rather than feeling stuck because of them. You don't define your minority tax to become a victim of it. You don't work to identify these invisible hardships to get stuck in them. That's not the purpose here. The purpose is to define it and then to work around it. And if you can't see a way out for yourself and the minority tax has you trapped, then get coaching. Without recognizing this invisible tax, you will be in a place of believing that these hurdles are cages, something that traps you in, and then there's no way out. Once you start to observe the bird's eye view of what is making up your minority text, then you can start to step out of the cage. What you believed to be iron metal bars become clear as their illusions. You can just step out of the cage. There is no material strength to your cage, it's just been a figment of your imagination.
Speaker 1:In Trevor Noah's autobiography he talks about some concept, but I forgot what it's exactly called. Maybe it's called a minority tax or maybe something else, and maybe that's how my brain came up with this name, but I don't remember exactly what it was. It was a long time ago. In his book Born a Crime, he talks about an incident in his life where his mother was shot in the head by his abusive stepfather. He shot her in a way that, thankfully, wasn't immediately lethal, but he didn't have a lot of resources for her treatment. But he didn't have a lot of resources for her treatment and, knowing this, she told him to let her go, not to pay this invisible tax of the difficult life circumstances and not to go in debt because of his mother's health crisis. He actually contemplated that decision very seriously, but he paid for the treatment. And not only only she survived. She's still a very big part of his life, and I'm going to tell you some only some of the privileges that society programs us to consider as a privilege. No one is exempt from this program.
Speaker 1:Don't for a second, think that you're not influenced by these biases. Again, this is not for a lost cause. You can unlearn these patterns and pay the tax, rather than believe that it doesn't exist or that it's working against you. When you're working harder to overcome these hurdles without realizing your invisible tax, you'll fall into believing that you are somehow broken, or you'll be a part of the victim mentality crew where the system is somehow broken. I don't want you to do any of that. I want you to carve out a simple path for yourself, and that path should be becoming clearer as this podcast goes along and I define more and more of the culture that we're living in.
Speaker 1:So, first of all, there's a culture of privilege based on each human's individual bias, which collectively is made up to be the culture of white superiority Lighter the skin color, the more well-perceived you are. Or, if you're white, passing that you don't have as much of a burden as somebody who is darker toned, if you're speaking English or if you're neurotypical. These are all privileges that provide you an advantage. I'm going to list other cultures that might be providing you an advantage or keeping you at a disadvantage. If it adds to your invisible minority tax, then just make a note of it. There's the culture of ableism, where able-bodied people are seen more favorably. If you can do things that fit the rigid classroom system 9-5 jobs and you're productive along the lines of the masses, then you'll be more well-received. Any diagnosis, any special needs kicks you out of that circle. Then there's a culture of wealth and materialism If you have money, you're automatically seen more successful, worthy, capable.
Speaker 1:Bias lies in equating your financial status with your value as a person or what value you can provide. Those with less will be marginalized. Unlearn this pattern by frequently reminding yourself of your worth, with or without being born. In money, your worth is always 100%. Start to value others for their traits outside of their money. When you start to do it for others, your brain will then start to internalize your worth independent of your money.
Speaker 1:Then there's a culture of youth, where youth is idolized. Aging is viewed as decline in relevance and value. Society will tell you that the younger you are, the more desirable, energetic and capable you must be. This is a bias and it needs to be unlearned. You can think that, appreciating the wisdom of somebody with more experience, more life that's lived, they can give unique strengths that come with age and every stage of their life has added to their own value. If you're somebody who's on the receiving end of bias because of ageism, pay the tax of unlearning that bias it is not based in fact.
Speaker 1:Then there's a culture of academic elitism. There's an immense value on formal education and academic achievements. If you're somebody who's taking a different path, you're automatically seen as less. There's an assumption that more degrees you have, the more intelligent or capable you are. This can be unlearned by just recognizing that intelligence and success will come in many forms, including practical skills, emotional intelligence, creativity, lived experiences. Start to unlearn that about others and you can start to unlearn that about yourself. Then there's a culture of thinness, this pervasive belief that thin bodies are inherently better, healthier or more beautiful than larger bodies, and this is what leads to body shaming, disordered eating. But again, it can be unlearned by appreciating your body, diversity, learning and relearning that health and beauty come in all shapes and sizes.
Speaker 1:The next one is culture of nationalism. People that are raised to believe that their country is superior to others creates a lot of lack of empathy for people from different cultures and backgrounds. For that you need to create a global perspective recognizing the interconnectedness of humanity. If you're working with this level of discrimination, then start by dismantling this bias in your head. Then there's a culture of religious dominance the assumption that a dominant religion is quote-unquote right or a normal way to live, and people within the religion will always see somebody else as an outsider and marginalize them for being the other. People in Islam do this all the time and Muslims themselves are a very big target of this discrimination. Islamophobia in the West because of all of the current political environment. It's not a secret from anyone. You can see this in public holidays, school holidays, legal systems, other social norms that prioritize one religion over the other just by the token of majority. Start by unlearning this bias and respecting religious diversity. Then there's the culture of immodesty the less or tighter your clothes are, the more well-perceived you are.
Speaker 1:I'm going to continue to list more and more, but the more of these you're missing, the higher your invisible minority tax will be. And overall, the answer is that you just pay the tax. Just pay it. Don't whine, don't complain. Just pay it or forever stay in your mental jail. You can work to change. You can work to be a social political activist. You can be vocal in your fight to create change, knowing you're still empowered, no matter how high your tax is. You don't have to fight it as if it's some unbeatable giant. You'll burn out and lose. You fight it as if it's a weight you have to lift to strengthen your biceps. That is all invisible. Minority tax is Work you have to do in order to be successful. More minority tax does not mean you cannot be successful. Okay, so then there's a culture of marital status, a bias that favors married people, especially over those who are single. At a later age, divorced or widowed, you might have to deal with this stigma of your relationship status. Just pay the tax.
Speaker 1:Tax here is honoring yourself as an independent human being, different from the majority opinion. Culture of physical appearance, such as height, complexion, body size that we've talked about they're all given undue importance, even though Islam teaches us that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala looks at the heart and the deeds, not at outward appearances. If you're emphasizing the importance of your own outer physical beauty, then you will become entrapped by this cultural bias For yourself. Give more and more importance to your inner beauty, character, righteousness. Then there is gender inequality. If you're choosing not to work outside of the home, then in the current society it's usually equated with the practice of Islam, while we know either one has nothing to do with each other. And then the use of Islamic teachings to justify subordination of women and to deny them their rightful status, when obviously the Islam teaches us that men and women are equal in the eyes of Allah, having their own rights and responsibilities. Any and all of gender inequality biases can be unlearned, especially the ones that are working against you.
Speaker 1:Then there's a culture of consumerism and materialism, where all of the biases, all of the societal programming and advertising is encouraging you for excessive consumption and constant pursuit of material goods. But let's say you're a household that doesn't own a TV or doesn't have a microwave and you're perfectly content with how you are living. Your invisible tax will be putting up with all of the questions of how can you live like this? Why are you choosing to do this and just pay the tax and continue to live your life in harmony with your own values? And the next one is going to be important to you as a Muslim woman in the West, and that's the culture of hypersexualization, and it's not just limited to how you dress, but also immodesty in behavior, interactions and flaunting of your wealth and possessions, all of this underlying the objectification of women and overall, if you're buying into this story, then you're going to be falling victim to this bias of immodesty is better.
Speaker 1:Islam promotes modesty, or haya, as a virtue that applies equally to both men and women. Then there's a culture of fame and celebrity worship. There's this modern obsession of fame. If you're valued in the public image, then that somehow decreases your invisible minority tax. You're automatically granted all of the privileges that you can think of. You can pursue fame, but if you're a victim of this bias, then unlearn it by focusing on personal development, pursuing fame for the sake of Allah, for the sake of sacred dawah. Value inner qualities over external recognition.
Speaker 1:Then along all of the immodesty. There is immodesty of speech. If you are engaging in gossip, slander, vulgar language, excessive joking, constantly talking, it might be normalized and encouraged in social interactions, but if you're not participating in that, then it leads to other people's misunderstandings about you that you are otherwise rigid and flexible. People will automatically assume a lot of things about you and in this case, again, the answer is just pay the minority tax in accordance to your values. There's a lot of cultural biases and messaging around immodest entertainment, immodest celebrations, immodest body exposure, immodest relationships All of this might be working against you as a Muslim woman, depending on how you choose to live your life. If it adds to your invisible minority tax, just make a note of it and then see what measures you can put in place to overcome these hurdles.
Speaker 1:There's also a culture of normal marriage. If everyone else's husband seems to be supporting their wives, loving them, standing up for them, and's husband seems to be supporting their wives, loving them, standing up for them, and your husband doesn't seem to do that, you're paying a tax of being outside of the culture of normal marriage. What is a normal marriage is only defined by you. What you allow in a marriage is only defined by you. So, overall, I'm just mentioning human-made cultures. I'm not talking about the tax brought on to you by war, famine, natural disasters. You can't really work towards success if your basic needs are not met. So in this case, you'll define your success as attempting to meet your basic needs of safety, food, shelter, dignity. But you do have minority tax to pay if you are a survivor of war or a natural disaster, if you've lost assets, health, family members in the process. All of these add to your tax. But I'm going to wrap up with.
Speaker 1:This concept, which is your minority tax, is your opportunity to show resilience. It is your opportunity to see how deeply rooted in faith you are. It is your window to show your commitment towards striving, and you have a choice to never pay any of it. You have a choice to never pay any of it. You have a choice to never pay your invisible tax and you don't have to do any of the work that is required of you to overcome your obstacles. You have the option of saying this tax is too high, success is not for me and just walk away. And there are no judgments there either. But you do have to consider the higher the tax, the higher the reward. The tax, as we already established, equals the more amount of work that you have to do towards your success, and all of that requires coming to it with a pure heart. Doing the zkiya requires for you to deal with life with a clear mind and a pure heart, and that is directly related to your success in this world and the next inshallah.
Speaker 1:So, with this concept that the higher the tax, higher the reward, are you ready to calculate your tax? Are you ready to pay it? Because the higher the minority tax would mean higher chances of you having negative self-talk, meaning louder the voice of inner shaitan showing you your presumed incompetencies. But doing more dhikr as a result indirectly means more chances for you to get closer to Allah. Invoke Allah in dua to get closer to Allah. Invoke Allah in dua, remember him in your supplications so that you can help yourself, lift the weight of your tax. Ask Allah to help you in this journey and reduce shaitan's effect on you in this process.
Speaker 1:Say your invisible tax is that you won't wear a two-piece bathing suit to a pool party. You want to go in the pool, you want to enjoy the party, but you'll do it in your bikini. There will be questions oh, you're wearing that even in the water. Do you wear that in the shower? The internalized voice of self-doubt will say maybe there is something wrong with this choice. I'm not feeling comfortable here. It would be easier for me to not come to the party at all. Or maybe just wear something less modest, something that's tighter, something not so loose. At least I'm not wearing a two-piece In this case. The minority tax of modest clothing choice is shaitan's message that this is the wrong choice. The higher the tax, the louder the shaitan's message is going to be and the truer it's going to sound. But in our case, higher tax just means more chances to remember Allah, dua, to make you stronger and just pay the tax. Just pay it, because higher tax means more chances to build resiliency.
Speaker 1:One of my coaches had a client complaining about a $400,000 bill in taxes that she had to pay one year. She was feeling like a failure, that she couldn't save more on taxes and my coach said wait a minute, how much money did you have to make to owe the government that much money and why aren't we celebrating that? And that is the same question for you. How much reward are you collecting by consciously making choices that go against the society's biases In your choices? The higher invisibility tax can mean the higher reward.
Speaker 1:And, of course, for any of this to make you feel better, you have to believe in the afterlife. Alhamdulillah for that concept. My belief in the afterlife, solves so many of my worldly problems. The tax you're paying, the financial toll on you for your parents' early health crisis, can be your ticket to Jannah. Look at your invisible minority tax as an opportunity for success in this world and the next inshallah, because more work you have to do to stay closer to your values. The more tax you have to pay because of your life circumstances, your financial status, your skin tone to your values, the more tax you have to pay because of your life circumstances, your financial status, your skin tone, your accent.
Speaker 1:Inshaallah, allah SWT will recognize that work. With that, I pray to Allah SWT. O Allah, the just and the all-knowing, grant me the strength to bear any burdens that come with the challenge of my identity. Help me increase in my resilience and patience. Guide me to see that these tests are not barriers but are opportunities to grow closer to you and to strengthen my faith. O Allah, let my struggles be a means of purification and allow me to emerge from them with a heart that is firm in your remembrance and a spirit that is unyielding in its pursuit of success, both in this life and in the hereafter. Ameen, ya Rabbul Alameen, please keep me in your du'as. I'll talk to you guys next time.