Have you ever felt overwhelmed by a wave of anger, or found yourself sinking into the depths of sadness? We've all been there, grappling with the heaviness of negative emotions, often wishing we could just ignore them or rush through them.
But what if I told you that these very emotions hold the keys to unlocking personal growth and deepening self-awareness?
In this episode, we delve into the often-misunderstood world of our darker feelings, revealing how they can actually be powerful catalysts for positive change. From transforming anger into passionate advocacy to channeling jealousy into a driving force for self-improvement, join me as we uncover the valuable lessons hidden within the emotions many of us try to avoid.
Without shying away from the complexity of our inner lives, we learn to use our feelings as guides that lead us to wisdom, resilience, and creativity and this serves as pathway to a more fulfilling worship and a closer bond with the divine.
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If this podcast has benefited you, imagine the value of a one-on-one meeting with me! Click below to schedule your FREE consultation. Discover solutions with no obligation.
https://www.islamiclifecoachschool.com/appointments
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by a wave of anger, or found yourself sinking into the depths of sadness? We've all been there, grappling with the heaviness of negative emotions, often wishing we could just ignore them or rush through them.
But what if I told you that these very emotions hold the keys to unlocking personal growth and deepening self-awareness?
In this episode, we delve into the often-misunderstood world of our darker feelings, revealing how they can actually be powerful catalysts for positive change. From transforming anger into passionate advocacy to channeling jealousy into a driving force for self-improvement, join me as we uncover the valuable lessons hidden within the emotions many of us try to avoid.
Without shying away from the complexity of our inner lives, we learn to use our feelings as guides that lead us to wisdom, resilience, and creativity and this serves as pathway to a more fulfilling worship and a closer bond with the divine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If this podcast has benefited you, imagine the value of a one-on-one meeting with me! Click below to schedule your FREE consultation. Discover solutions with no obligation.
https://www.islamiclifecoachschool.com/appointments
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Applying tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognisably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Uthar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.
Speaker 1:Today's podcast is going to sound like a laundry list, and there's no escaping it. Today I list out a whole bunch of emotions for you to recognize within yourselves and the benefit of these emotions. But this podcast is more than just a laundry list. This level of deeper understanding of negative emotions has totally changed my life. But this is also based on understanding that you have a basic knowledge of your emotions. You can label them, you can present them with sensations of your body and you don't have to be masterful at them, but you do have some basic knowledge.
Speaker 1:This podcast builds on the necessity of negative emotions, and trying to prove the necessity of negative emotions is a huge undertaking in the world of easy escapes and positive psychology that is misunderstood as feeling positive and uplifted all of the time. The work is trying to convince everyone, including myself at times, that the negative emotions and the difficulty that you're experiencing with the situation actually has a teaching benefit behind it. This understanding takes a level of openness of the mind and acceptance from the heart, because this is a reality of life, an uncomfortable reality, but a reality nonetheless. Because what I'm telling you is that life is not about feeling peachy and happy all of the time. I'm telling you that negative emotions are created for a reason, and not only are they present in your life, it is absolutely necessary for you to feel them in order to learn from them, and they are part and parcel of this life. So you see why my opinion might be an unpopular one, but I also kinda don't care, because every woman listening to this podcast knows at the deep level that she cannot live a life of constant harmony and happiness. You, as a woman, have gained the knowledge from many sources, maybe your mother, maybe your aunties, maybe your lived experience as a human being, maybe your past. You've also learned from the stories of the prophets peace and blessings be upon all of them where we find out that the best creation of humanity faced hardships and tough emotions in their lifetimes. So if the prophets went through that, then why are we under the illusion that we won't go through that? So we all logically know this to be true.
Speaker 1:But there's also a certain resistance to acknowledging this design, and I totally understand why that is. It is not easy to admit to pain. Pain is painful. Negative emotions are difficult to experience. For the body it's not easy to face. That's where the resistance of this design comes from.
Speaker 1:But Alhamdulillah, as always, I do have great, great news. So, while I understand that this idea is difficult to implement, it is extremely powerful. So I thought to myself hmm, how can I help my listeners in the understanding of how their very painful emotions are teaching them something valuable? Because when we rush to escape them number one we lose the lesson behind the wise teacher that is the emotion. And number two, we exaggerate the pain in an attempt to bury it. The judgment of the pain leads to its increased intensity. So, as a solution, I created this podcast. So from here on out, I invite you to label each emotion as its teacher.
Speaker 1:Positive emotions are also teacher, but I've never found anyone trying to escape positive emotions, so they happen to be not a problem because they feel so good in your body. I personally love positive emotions and Alhamdulillah for this design, but it serves as a good reminder that we need to think about negative emotions as teachers, just so we can help ourselves not engage in escaping behaviors, and these behaviors based on escapism are either expensive or downright harmful. So this concept of positive teaching behind a negative emotion helps us make the most of our life on the planet. It gives us valuable insights in our inner workings and how we interact with the world. So what I'm going to do now is list a whole bunch of negative emotions and what their identity is as a teacher. So first I'll list out the emotion, then their teacher identity and then a short explanation and, as always, feel free to come back to this podcast, listen to it again, take notes, come to coaching, because this is going to be loaded, at least in the beginning. So here's a list of negative emotions and their potential positive lessons and their teacher identities.
Speaker 1:Anger, a passionate advocate. Anger indicates a deep care of strong values. When this is channeled positively, it transforms into advocacy for change and defense of what you believe in. Fear that's a protective awareness. Fear signals potential danger, helps to keep you safe, it prompts you to prepare better in the future and heighten your awareness and, when channeled properly, gives you a better understanding of your surroundings.
Speaker 1:Guilt or shame Both of these are a wise remorse, and this label came from Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier. I read his book a long time ago, but recently one of his videos showed up on my social media feed. He talks about shame as being an emotion that drags you down, but if you learn what it teaches you, it turns into a wise remorse. This involves acknowledging mistakes without labeling yourself as inherently bad, leading to a constructive self-improvement and growth. Sadness Empathic connector. Sadness deepens your understanding of loss and pain, both in yourself and others. It enhances your empathy and emotional connection. Jealousy or envy is an aspirational drive. These emotions highlight the areas where you aspire to improve or achieve. They serve as motivation to set your purpose and personal goals.
Speaker 1:Frustration is a creative problem solver. Frustration rises from obstacles in your path, but that's your invite to spark creativity and determination to find solutions. Disappointment that's a realistic resilience. This teaches you to manage your expectations, adapt to circumstances, be flexible and develop resilience in the face of setbacks, and setbacks are inevitable. Insecurity this is a self-discovery. Mistakes of insecurity encourage a deeper exploration of your strengths and areas of your growth. And when you actually corrupt in your areas of growth, that leads to more self-confidence and productivity.
Speaker 1:Regret A reflective wisdom. Regret serves as a reminder of what is important, helping you make more informed decisions in the future and learn from past experiences, because no matter how much of an expert somebody is in their field, they weren't born that way. They made actions, learned from their mistakes and failures, modified their actions and then continued on in the journey to become the expert. And a healthy regret in that case is your teacher. Boredom is an innovative engagement. Boredom prompts you to seek new experiences, learn new things and engage in the world with innovative ways. Anxiety is a preparatory caution, because anxiety is assigned to prepare thoroughly for the future. Any challenge, any project, any speech, any big presentation, any big exam coming up, if you feel anxiety about it, then that level of adrenaline gives you the fuel to channel it properly and constructively and prepare for the event.
Speaker 1:Resentment An invitation for forgiveness. When you constantly feel the heaviness of resentment, the discomfort will signal for you to find a solution and this is your invite to see how and if you can forgive. This is your journey to understanding other people's perspective and finding forgiveness, reducing the internal bitterness. Impatience, an eager anticipation, impatience reflects a deep desire for progress and, if channeled proactively, that's what's used to achieve goals.
Speaker 1:Overwhelmed, a prioritized focus. Being overwhelmed leads for you to recognize the need to prioritize, delegate and focus on one task at a time. If you're feeling overwhelmed, chances are you're focusing on many things at the same time and your attention is scattered. This is your invite to focus and prioritize what's most important for you. Doubt it's a critical inquiry. Doubt encourages questioning and thorough thinking, which leads to stronger convictions and better informed decisions. I mean, if you think about it this way, I can't think of a better teacher than doubt.
Speaker 1:The next one is despair, which is a hopeful resilience. Despair is a catalyst for finding inner strength, hope, and it creates the seed for resilience moving forward. Hostility it's assertive boundary setting. Hostility invites you towards your need to assert yourself, leading for you to practice the skill of clear communications, setting clear boundaries and making your needs known. Exhaustion it's a mindful restoration. This signals for you and your body to get some rest, recover, promote self-care, mindfulness and understand your limits. Pessimism the teacher is realistic. Optimism. Pessimistic feelings lead to a realistic assessment of a situation and you can balance what you think you can accomplish realistically versus what sounds like fantasy, so you don't waste energy chasing things that you can't accomplish.
Speaker 1:Indifference it's a reflective clarity. Indifference highlights the areas of disconnection prompts you to figure out what truly matters and realign with your values. Disgust and this is one of my favorite ones Disgust is a moral discernment. This helps you reflect on where you stepped away from your morals. It helps you come back to your values and your boundaries. Disgust is a teacher that's your moral compass.
Speaker 1:Inadequacy that's an aspirational growth. Feelings of inadequacy are created for you to be motivated towards personal development and the pursuit of new skills and knowledge. Meaning if you're feeling inadequate in something, it just means that you need to practice a skill. It just means that it's highlighting for you what you value. Restlessness it's a dynamic exploration. It's a sign to explore new activities, ideas, places. I find this emotion in myself very commonly and if I don't channel it properly, I spread myself too thin.
Speaker 1:The next one is suspicion. And that's such a good one because suspicion is actually a cautious evaluation, because it encourages your careful assessment of the situation or people. That way, you can create a more informed trust in your relationships and decision making. Embarrassment it teaches you humility and a need for learning and improvement. Improvalment is a very powerful motivator if you think about it. Irritation A mindful tolerance this highlights areas where you need to develop patience and understanding. This is your practice of patience.
Speaker 1:Grief A deepened appreciation and love. Grief of a loss of something is directly correlated of how much you loved it If it was a person, if it was an item, if it was future goals. Celebrate the love for it when you feel the deep grief, vulnerability this is authentic connection. This opens doors to genuine relationships, self-acceptance and creates deeper connections. But I will give you a warning in this regard you have no business being vulnerable with anybody who does not have the capacity to hold it and you are the judge of that. Be vulnerable with people who can give you that space. Next one is hopefulness Strengthened resolve. It leads to finding inner strength and determination in overcomes challenges and helps you pursue meaningful goals.
Speaker 1:Skepticism and informed open-mindedness this is where you question assumptions and beliefs. Skepticism only helps you accept what has passed the test of your scrutiny. Synicism it's along the lines of skepticism, but it's a critical awareness. It prompts critical thinking about social norms, about what you want to be inspired from others. Disdain this is an elevated understanding. It encourages a deeper understanding of why certain things are viewed negatively.
Speaker 1:Unease is your catalyst for change. It's a feeling of the constant need of improvement and movement and progress. It's a powerful motivator. Rage it's intense motivation towards your values and when channeled constructively, it's a powerful force to address injustices and pursuing social change or personal change. Inferiority and this is so counter-intuitive, but this is your teacher towards self-empowerment and it's hard to recognize, but when you become aware of it, consider it as a motivator for you to work towards your self-esteem and build your self-image. If you're finding yourself inferior than others, that's an invite for you to build a strong relationship with yourself, recognize your personal worth and empower yourself.
Speaker 1:Panic, and when I came up with this one, it's almost comical, but it's sort of a calm urgency Because while it's alarming, while it's difficult for you to experience in your body, it creates such a heightened level of focus that it prompts you to take quick response and it teaches you how to remain calm under pressure. With practice, dread this is a preventative carefulness. It encourages careful planning and taking proper preventative actions and measures before starting a task too soon or too hastily. Hesitation is a deliberate decision maker which allows you time to think through things.
Speaker 1:Isolation this is your opportunity for introspective solitude. Oh, my god, when I realize this, this is such a life changer for me, because I used to dread isolation. I used to dread the fear of loneliness and being alone, but we're never actually completely alone. If there's nobody physically around you, then that might just be your moment and opportunity for introspective solitude. Okay, the next one's very powerful and that's lust. And to me that's passionate focus, because when redirected and it does have to be redirected, like the rest of the negative emotions it represents a deep passion and intense focus on the pursuit of your desire. Either they're objects or people, an object of your desire is meaningful to you and it is your responsibility to channel that lust creatively within the bounds of Islam. Then there's overconfidence, which is a self assurance, but with caution. It's a reminder of a balanced confidence, with caution and consideration. So I think that's all I have in regards to the list of emotions, but I wanted to give you these and the teaching concepts behind them before I can tell you what I call this process and I might have actually learned this term somewhere, but this is a process of emotional alchemy.
Speaker 1:An emotional alchemy is often used in self help and psychological literature to describe the process of transforming negative emotions into positive outcomes. And when I give you the label of the teacher that each negative emotion supposed to carry within itself. It helps you recognize it for the next time easier and quicker, and this is especially helpful when you're trying to identify any of these emotions in your children and if you have a tendency to label the kids as the negative emotion, you might want to listen to this podcast again. If you identify your kids as exhibiting signs of any of these, then instead pause a moment, give it a label of the teacher that that negative emotion is and identify the kid with the teacher term. Instead, it will immediately tell you what the emotion is supposed to be creating for the child. Emotions as teachers give a level of therapeutic catharsis.
Speaker 1:I do believe every negative emotion was created for a purpose. I do believe in Allah swt's infinite wisdom. Through this art of labeling all of our emotions as teachers, it will result in a renewal and a restoration. Inshaallah, I hope this Ramadan becomes the source of your spiritual and emotional alchemy. With that I pray to Allah swt, the most merciful and wise. Grant me the understanding to see my emotions as teachers, guiding me towards growth and self-awareness. Help me transform anger into passionate advocacy, fear into protective awareness, sadness into empathic connections. O Allah, guide me to use my feelings of jealousy, frustration as motivation for personal growth. Help me use them as creative problem solving In moments of doubt or insecurity. O Allah, please enlighten me with the wisdom of self-discovery. Turn each human experience into a lesson that it is meant to be and, ya Allah, grant me the insight to learn that lesson. Through this design and through this understanding, allow me to come closer to you in my worship. Ameen, ya Rabul Alameen, please keep me in your doors. I will talk to you guys next time.