Islamic Life Coach School Podcast

Post-Traumatic Depreciation

December 26, 2023 Kanwal Akhtar Episode 161
Islamic Life Coach School Podcast
Post-Traumatic Depreciation
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Trauma catalyzes change, but not all change is growth. —some events leave you feeling diminished in your self-worth

In this podcast we talk about Post Traumatic Depreciation, a less talked about concept compared to its counterpart post-traumatic growth. 

We're talking about the fine line between growing and feeling less worthy after trauma, and how important it is to make the right choices when life throws you a curveball, We also talk about what value does faith play in your support through post traumatic depreciation. 

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Islamic Life Coach 4 Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognisably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Uthar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.

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Post Traumatic Depreciation and Post Traumatic Growth are concepts that describe different outcomes that people experience following traumatic events. We don't talk about post traumatic depreciation as a term nearly as much because there's a lot more literature present for post traumatic growth, and that's interesting because I think keeping the contrast in mind can help you avoid one over the other. Post Traumatic Depreciation, while it's not a generally acceptable psychological term, I found it for the first time in a recent JAMA article when I was doing my own medical journal review, and this was a study on post traumatic depreciation in HIV patients. This depreciation can be loosely defined as a process where individuals experience a decline in their sense of self-worth, self-esteem or general functioning after a traumatic event, mostly characterized by feelings of hopelessness, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities and, overall, a pessimistic outlook on life. If you are in such a phase, or ever have been through one, where you feel less capable or valuable than you did before the trauma, then you're looking at post traumatic depreciation. What I mentioned were just some overall monitorable signs for you to gauge if you're in a depreciation phase after a difficult event in your life or not. This, again is in stark contrast to post traumatic growth, which is a more widely accepted psychological term. Post traumatic growth, as a result of a struggle with a highly challenging life circumstance, has the characteristics of you developing an understanding of yourself and the world around you, results in future, improvements in your relationships, greater capacity to hold further challenges, developing a greater appreciation of life and finding out your personal strengths, what is unique to you At its core. Post traumatic depreciation represents a downturn in psychological health, while post traumatic growth represents an upturn. Both of them are transformative processes, but they are two completely different outcomes. Both of these outcomes can manifest in the context of life challenges which, in Islamic belief, are preordained by Allah swt, but they differ significantly in how they reshape your life. While I am referring to these frameworks as binary outcomes, either negative or positive, again the reality is far more nuanced and a lot of gray in the middle.

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People's responses to trauma are diverse and complex. It's not simply a matter of good or bad outcomes. There's a wide spectrum of experiences and reactions individuals go through. Just as a superficial gauge whether you've experienced post-traumatic growth or depreciation, consider the mechanisms you've developed in response to this challenging event. If these mechanisms have enhanced your life, create a positive shift compared to how you were living before the traumatic event, or if your life feels diminished compared to before, with a decreased sense of well-being and fulfillment. I'm highlighting the importance of this reflection because, if you're in a state of post-traumatic depreciation, you might unknowingly be treating it as a permanent situation.

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Understanding whether your life is experiencing depreciation is a significant first step, and you might have noticed the effects of this downward turn in one or many areas of your life, like money, intimate relationships or parenting style. Usually, this depreciation affects one area of your life more than others. Once you have this awareness, it opens the door to change. Your current state isn't fixed by re-evaluating how you view and think about your situation any given moment. You hold the capacity to actively alter your trajectory by choosing how you think about the situation. This realization is powerful. It means that as soon as you decide to shift your perspective, acknowledging where you are and then making a conscious decision to be somewhere else, choice to steer your life in any given direction is yours, because the default subconscious mind will keep you in depreciation and it will keep showing you that it's not escapable.

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Now consider a law of physics If an object is at rest, it will not spontaneously come into motion unless there is an external force applied on it. Or if an object is in motion, it cannot stop by itself unless there is an external force applied to stop it, like gravity. This quality of inertia, as it relates to physical objects, is also true with emotional inertia a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged, a state of emotional constancy unless an external force is applied. And this is not a good emotional constancy. If you don't apply an external force of consciousness to decide to change your life, your emotional inertia will continue to deepen your depreciation Because, as laws of physics would have it, same applies to neurobiology.

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Emotional inertia is an actual force that is acting on you, state of habitual, memorized emotions when it comes to you living in a loveless marriage or parenting a challenging child, or finding it hard to make the monthly mortgage. Any of these situations call for a change in emotional inertia. Make a choice and make an effort. How deeply you heal is your responsibility. That is the journey from post traumatic depreciation into a more constructive growth state. It involves an active choice on your part, active effort. If you remain passive, not seeking out ways to understand how this challenge can be used to help you grow, to help you cope, to help you become a better person, then you will continue to stay in depreciation. And I'm not asking you to find the positive outcome in a traumatic event. Right now, especially, it was a significant event. Chances are, the more intense the trauma, the longer it will take for your intelligence to reveal the positive intention to you. But you have to start with asking the question, otherwise the answer will forever remain hidden and that risks you forever staying in a state of depreciation and calling it fate.

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Understanding whether one has passed a test given by Allah swt, especially in the context of traumatic experiences and their aftermath, it is a deeply personal and spiritual matter. The concepts of post-traumatic growth and depreciation provide a deep insight into this. As always, it is my full intention to approach this topic with sensitivity and understanding. I don't want to paint a big picture of trauma and your ability or inability to cope and make it sound generic and impersonal, but since you are listening to this podcast, this is my only tool to reach you. I use words and examples. My hope and request here is that you genuinely and safely apply these concepts to your life, with all of the nuances and depth and gravity of situation, if you are able to create lessons out of this podcast as it applies to your unique life. But no matter how specific of an example I can give you, I can never call out every human being's individual experience, especially for those living a life in the Middle East or being directly affected by it. I will never take the claim of fully understanding all of your nuanced difficulties, but I will say that, if you give me the opportunity, you can see how the test you have gone through or might be going through can be turned into an opportunity through an understanding of these psychological and spiritual experiences.

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In general, consider a post-traumatic growth state as a sign of passing the test that Allah swt ordained for you in this life, and consider a post-depreciation to be a dip. This is why, in Islamic teachings, trial and tribulations are often seen as tests of faith and character. Post-traumatic growth is where individuals emerge stronger, more resilient, with a deeper understanding of life and faith. This growth isn't about feeling better. It's about a profound transformation that often involves a renewed sense of purpose, a deeper appreciation of life and a stronger connection with Allah. This is a sign of passing a lost test, by not only enduring the trial but also finding meaning and growth behind it. And with this linear type of explanation, it might seem like having a post-traumatic depreciation means that you will fail the test and all is lost, even if you are in a low faith state and you are struggling to find your footing in your life, like your relationships or your spirituality or your wealth, even if there is a dip in your perceived value in the world, meaning you do see yourself going through post-traumatic depreciation. This failing of this test is not the same as failing the final, because we always have a choice to improve on where we are and gain, no matter how low we think life has taken us. I am making this comparison that, while post-traumatic growth strongly signifies your success, post-traumatic depreciation does not have to hold the same linear correlation, thanks to your ability to uplift yourself at any given moment.

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If, at any point, you decide to go from passive experiences of your life to active participants experiences, that depreciation will immediately start to take an upturn, just by the effect of asking the right questions. What has the situation taught me about my strengths? What are the possible benefits of this situation that I am not yet seeing? How has this experience reshaped my understanding in what truly matters in my life? In what ways can I use this challenge to fuel my growth? How can I use this to help others? Do I even want to help others? What new opportunities for personal development has this situation opened up for me? How has my perspective about my coping skills evolved through this experience? These questions are grounded in action, focusing on immediate as well as future outcomes. There is an importance in these questions of consistent efforts to have a transformative potential through your difficult, life-changing experience, which can lead you to a more profound understanding of what truly is important and what strength you've gained. And just like that, by asking these questions, you turn your post-traumatic depreciation into growth.

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Even if you don't have the answers to any of these questions, just asking is the most magical part. You just have to start asking what this means, that post-traumatic depreciation doesn't necessarily mean that you have failed the test from Allah. Everyone's journey and capacity to handle trauma is different. Struggling with negative emotions and a sense of depreciation after trauma is a human response and it does not have to reflect your permanent state of faith or your worth in eyes of Allah. Experiencing difficulty in coping with trauma may be a part of your specific journey, which might be a longer journey than others, or it might be shorter. It might take you more time towards healing and understanding, but also consider that it might take you less time.

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What makes anybody else more special than you in creating a blessing out of a challenge? The answer to that question is only the way you choose to think about it. If you believe that it will take you longer, if you believe that your test is harder for you than anyone else that challenge for you was more difficult, your trauma was more devastating than anybody else's then that's exactly how long it will take you to see your post-traumatic growth. If you can choose to believe that you are not specifically broken and you have just as many resources as anybody else to create success from these difficulties, then you will considerably shorten your time to start seeing post-traumatic growth, and in this case I don't mean external resources, I mean resources of your mind. Allah swt has equipped everyone with the right resources to find growth from these tests and trials and, as it relates to deepening of the faith, you have all of the opportunities of success of the world and success of the afterlife.

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Life's trials are not just about the outcomes, but also about the process and effort you put into facing them. Consider that the real test that might be in your continuous effort to heal, grow and maintain faith among hardship. The real test might not even be whatever is unfolding outside of you, but what you make of it with your internal resources, no matter how challenging it seems. Maybe the real test is how you respond to it and how you think about it. Focus in Islam is towards the effort, the patience, the continuous turning towards Allah for support and the journey of healing, rather than solely on the outcome and calling it growth versus depreciation. If you think your outcome is finalized, you are wrong. The finality is only known to Allah. All we can do is focus on the process.

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The concept of post-traumatic depreciation, as understood in the context of psychological aftermath of trauma, indeed is not a final or irreversible stage. It is a state that might reflect the initial impact of trauma on your individual mental and emotional health. It has characteristic feelings of diminished self-worth and hopelessness and negative outlook on life. But this state by no means is static and definitely not final. It is subject to change based on your choice of response, and you can make that choice in any moment. No matter how long you think you've been living in the state of depreciation Minutes, days or decades the choice is always made in one moment.

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Breaking free from depreciation is always just a decision, and I mean, what's the harm in trying what's the worst that can happen if you decide to be curious about your depreciation state? There's only benefits In short term. Actively working towards growth will lead you to see improvements in your mental health, relationships and overall quality of your life. This might be the immediate outcome, and then there are always long-term benefits. This can also mean that you have better coping mechanisms in the long run, improved emotional regulation throughout your life and a renewed sense of purpose and motivation. In the long run, maybe you will become the source of inspiration and support for others. Maybe you will guide others of how to renew themselves and come back from baking points, and all of these long term benefits might not be immediately visible.

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But again, what's the harm in starting just to be curious, just to decide to become stronger? The insights that you might gain from this journey have the potential to influence a future generation, which is why the life changing decision you make today might not even materialize 80 years from now, when somebody inspired from your work becomes a leader and changes the whole political arena. Maybe they reverse climate change, maybe they dramatically change the foreign policy, who knows? Or maybe none of that happens. But when you decide to change your depreciation to an upward curve of growth just by the virtue of curiosity, asking deep, meaningful questions, maybe none of the best case scenarios I described to you ever materialize, but still you haven't lost anything.

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What's the harm in trying? There is impact of this work beyond your lifetime, which you are unable to see when you're in a state of depreciation. But if you decide that factually participating in this work with curiosity is not going to bring any benefit of the world, then you're also forgetting one of the most beneficial spiritual outcomes, which is one of the afterlife. The struggles you go through, the efforts you make to overcome them, have immense significance. The concept of being rewarded in the afterlife for your perseverance, resilience and positive actions puts all of the benefits of this world to shame. From this perspective, the journey towards post-traumatic growth is not just about worldly benefits, but also about spiritual fulfillment and the pursuit of the reward in the afterlife.

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There is an eternal dimension to this work and you have your faith to thank for that. And it comes with the recognition that it is only with Allah's permission that we can ever recognize our faith and we steadfast in it. It is only through Allah's grace that we find the strength to persevere and we find the wisdom to understand the significance of our experiences. Our struggles, no matter how profound they look to our human mind, are a constant reminder of a divine support that surrounds us and a glimpse into what our life would look like if mercy of Allah was to be lifted even for a second. May Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala keep all of us and the Muslim Ummah within His mercy.

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With that I pray to Allah. O Allah, the most merciful, the most compassionate, we turn to you in gratitude for your blessings, your endless mercy. You are the guiding light. Guide us through the journey of trials and tribulations. We acknowledge that without your divine permission, we would be lost in the struggles of the mundane, the outcomes of the world. We seek your help, o Allah, to break free from the emotional inertia of the ordinary and mediocre mindset. We ask your help to see beyond our immediate trials and to understand the significance of our experiences. O Allah, make us among the successful in this world and the next. Please keep me in your Daraas. I will talk to you guys next time.

Understanding Post-Traumatic Depreciation and Growth
Post-Traumatic Growth in Faith
Prayer for Guidance and Success