Can stress become an addiction? In this eye-opening episode of the Islamic Life Coach School Podcast, you'll uncover the ways in which we can become dependent on stress and the profound effects it has on our health and well-being. I share my personal journey of realizing how a high-pressure work environment led me to an unhealthy reliance on stress.
By exploring the mind’s tendency to seek familiar paths, we discuss the key signs of stress addiction, such as emotional dependence, overcommitting to tasks, and neglecting self-care.
This episode provides actionable strategies to help you break free from the stress cycle and transition to a state of calm.
We also address a widespread issue among Muslim women: the stress of over-commitmenta and physical symptoms like tension headaches and muscle pain, as well as behavioral signs like restless body language and constant multitasking.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If this podcast has benefited you, imagine the value of a one-on-one meeting with me! Click below to schedule your FREE consultation. Discover solutions with no obligation.
Can stress become an addiction? In this eye-opening episode of the Islamic Life Coach School Podcast, you'll uncover the ways in which we can become dependent on stress and the profound effects it has on our health and well-being. I share my personal journey of realizing how a high-pressure work environment led me to an unhealthy reliance on stress.
By exploring the mind’s tendency to seek familiar paths, we discuss the key signs of stress addiction, such as emotional dependence, overcommitting to tasks, and neglecting self-care.
This episode provides actionable strategies to help you break free from the stress cycle and transition to a state of calm.
We also address a widespread issue among Muslim women: the stress of over-commitmenta and physical symptoms like tension headaches and muscle pain, as well as behavioral signs like restless body language and constant multitasking.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If this podcast has benefited you, imagine the value of a one-on-one meeting with me! Click below to schedule your FREE consultation. Discover solutions with no obligation.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, dr Kamal Atar. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be upon all of you.
Speaker 1:
I've personally experienced a profound shift in my disposition ever since I discovered coaching, ever since I started taking accountability for my brain, ever since I started to supervise my brain, I used to have what, in hindsight, seems to be a perpetually rushed personality. I was always in a hurry. I thought I performed well under pressure, constantly creating stress to achieve higher quality of work. It turns out I was addicted to stress. My mind and my body became accustomed to functioning under high pressure conditions. When these conditions weren't present, my mind would actively create stress or otherwise would dismiss the task as unimportant altogether.
Speaker 1:
It's fascinating how we can become addicted to things that don't necessarily bring us pleasure or joy or euphoria. We can get hooked on things that don't feel good at all. And how is that possible, you might ask? Well, it makes sense when you realize that addiction can stem from a need to dissociate from your problems, creating an alternate reality. But how can someone get addicted to stress? And that's because our mind is an incredibly efficient machine. If you become accustomed to producing high quality work under stress, your mind will subconsciously create stress to achieve the same result. It won't seek out an alternative method because it has found a way that works. It won't seek out an alternative method because it has found a way that works, even if it's not the healthiest. The mind chooses the familiar path in the name of efficiency, and it avoids the need to reinvent the wheel or try any other new method that will require for you to explore a less traveled path. So I wasn't addicted to stress because it felt good. I was addicted because it was familiar, and that's how it works for everyone else as well. Even though it is uncomfortable, the comfort of familiarity keeps you in that cycle. It is entirely possible that you are also addicted to stress without even realizing it, and today I want to talk about the science of stress addiction, so you can recognize if you have it and what you can do if you decide to break free from it.
Speaker 1:
Stress addiction is a psychological response where you become dependent on the physiological and the emotional reactions associated with stress, and that can feel like a ton of emotions, like overwhelm, anxiety, helplessness, loneliness you name it, or it could just be the emotional state of stress. This dependency creates a cycle where stress becomes a habitual, almost necessary part of daily life, even though it has negative impacts on your health and well-being. Still, you almost need for it to be present, otherwise something starts to feel off like something isn't right or something is missing. We cling to stress in a form of stress addiction, because we don't know any better and that's just simply it. Okay. So now we'll explore the signs of stress addiction.
Speaker 1:
This cycle of stress addiction starts with your body's natural response to stressful situations, which include the release of adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones increase your alertness and energy level. They provide a temporary boost that feels invigorating. These responses are normal and are very much needed at times, which is totally normal. But if you have started the cycle of stress addiction, then over time you will begin to crave this heightened state where you will continue to consciously seek out stress-inducing situations to achieve that familiar high energy state or rush.
Speaker 1:
Then there are signs of emotional dependence. You will feel uneasy and restless during periods of calm or relaxation. You will be experiencing a sense of emptiness or lack of purpose when you're not engaged with a high stress activity. This emotional dependence will reinforce your need to stay busy and constantly stimulated. Then there will be signs in your behavioral patterns. Stress addiction will look like over committing to many tasks and procrastinating until the last minute to recreate the sense of urgency. You will be constantly checking electronic devices for messages, paying attention to every notification being uneasy if you can't check the notification right away. If you're unable to tolerate boredom, or if you avoid self-care like a plague because it's hard for you to be alone with your thoughts because there's nothing urgent or emergent about self-care. All of these are signs of stress addiction.
Speaker 1:
Self-care is a task that can always be delayed. It can always be done some other time Because you are always capable of procrastinating on yourself, on your fitness routine, on your health routine, on nutritious eating. Self-care can always be done some other time because that is a commitment that you can always continue to delay with yourself. And then more and more urgent activities continue to replace your self-care time, and by this I don't just mean your leisurely self-care, your annual routine health visits, your checkups, the outing you were planning with your friends. Whatever you count as self-care will start to seem unimportant because it does not come with the associated stress, even if you do create the routine appointments with your gynecologist, with your primary, your dentist, then you do it under the pressure of fear of losing your health. You only follow through to your basic health needs after creating stress in your mind of the worst case scenario, and then you go to your annual to make sure your fear is not true. Stress basically becomes the routine state of being the regular emotional fuel behind all of your tasks.
Speaker 1:
If you find yourself taking a deep breath and sighing frequently because that's the body's way of getting rid of extra adrenaline and cortisol that's been released, that can also be a sign of stress addiction. I personally take deep breaths very frequently and I use it to shift my state from stress to calm all the time, and this is my go-to exercise when I want to engage with the situation with my whole brain rather than my primal stressed brain. So if you found yourself to be frequently taking deep breaths, I'm not asking you to stop doing that. I'm asking you to think about what the reason behind it is and stop creating stress in the first place. If you're breathing deep or sighing a lot, it's possible that you're addicted to stress and subconsciously creating a stressful environment.
Speaker 1:
One of the biggest signs of stress addiction is compulsive behavior like frequently checking social media and constant doom scrolling. When seeking stress, the brain requires for you to pay attention to all of the bad news of the world and it wants to find out all of the horrible things that are happening. And it gets to ignoring everything else Because, again, when you feel that sense of helplessness, the depressed doom and gloom, that is what is familiar to the body and that is stress addiction. And given the current state of news outlets and social media, this is very easy to do. All of this compulsivity would include checking emails, messages and having your phone in your arms reach at all times.
Speaker 1:
Another very big sign of stress addiction is micromanagement, perfectionistic tendencies All of this really hiding under the disguise of high quality work. But I want to tell you that you can actually produce high quality work without ever being stressed. You might call them high standards, but nothing gets produced at the end of it. And if you or your team does manage to produce something, you're overly critical of it afterwards. This relentless pursuit of perfection keeps you in a state of constant pressure. You think you're striving to achieve good standards, but they're really unrealistic, unachievable goals, because your body is not really familiar with the satisfaction of a goal well achieved. It's looking for stress. So it will create dissatisfaction with whatever you've created, because this satisfaction will fuel your next task. This is perpetuating the addiction. You can totally produce best quality work without stress.
Speaker 1:
Another sign of stress addiction is stimulants like caffeine, which is extremely common. If you can't create a high energy state with your mind first thing in the morning, then you will need two cups of coffee just to start your day and then maybe four more during the day just to replicate that. I'm not asking you to give up coffee. I'm just asking you to be curious about why you're doing it and if you can create a morning routine that does not rely on such a high energy state. If you're naturally a morning person and high energy comes naturally to you, like it does to me in the mornings, then maybe that's your baseline. It does to me in the mornings, then maybe that's your baseline, but maybe you can fuel all of your morning tasks with calmness.
Speaker 1:
As a Muslim woman, all of this commonly shows up as continuous over-commitment to volunteering, saying yes to all of the responsibilities and then some, and then feeling obligated to meet all of the expectations that you create and that other people have for you. You can perform all of your tasks, even obligatory tasks, without a sense of obligation. That comes from stress, and I have a whole podcast on this topic, dedicated to how obligation creates stress. That's podcast number 159. Check it out if you haven't already. Okay, so then there's something very commonly I see in my coaching practice. Women come to me and they have committed and overcommitted to all of their tasks. Then they tell me that it's their cultural responsibility. They should be doing what's expected of them, just to show respect, because that's the respectful way, that's the cultural way of them. Just to show respect, because that's the respectful way, that's the cultural way. Again, you can do all of your responsibilities respectfully without stress.
Speaker 1:
You may also be carrying signs of stress addiction, including tension, headaches, neck pain, tight muscles, especially tight muscles of the posture, like the neck of the back, and then you might be carrying pain in those areas. Another sign could be restless body language, constant tapping of the feet, shifting your position frequently when you're sitting, an overall inability to relax and be present in a situation, speaking very fast, speaking over others, always anticipating the other person's response and impatience in a conversation. Basically, you can look for signs of stress addiction in your non-verbal daily language. An uptight posture, tight fists, grinding teeth, frown lines All of these are clues towards ongoing stress. Another indication is the constant seeking of conflict. You might find yourself engaging in arguments or debates more frequently, both at work and in your personal life. This behavior creates an environment of tension and stress which, again, you've become accustomed to and you are seeking it out subconsciously. By creating or involving yourself in conflict, you maintain the heightened state of alertness and energy that your body is craving.
Speaker 1:
Another sign is neglecting personal relationships. You might find that you're consumed by your tasks and responsibilities and otherwise neglect your friends and family. You call it productivity commitment to your career. Your conversations always revolve around work topics or highly charged topics, other people's mistakes, difficult past or difficult relationships, leaving little room for genuine connection or relaxation, because, again, that is unfamiliar, uneasy. This will create an isolated environment for you where the only familiar company you have left is stress itself, and this further proves to you that stress is the only possibility.
Speaker 1:
Another indication of stress addiction is experiencing guilt and shame over work-life balance. You might feel guilty for not spending enough time with your family because you have so many work commitments or otherwise feeling guilty about work when you would rather be prioritizing family time. This constant struggle to balance both areas will lead to a heightened stress and anxiety situation, perpetuating stress addiction. Another indication, especially especially for Muslim women, is the relentless habit of multitasking All in the name of efficiency, of course. Like, for example, managing multiple tasks at a family event cooking, serving, cleaning simultaneously, without taking a moment to sit and enjoy the company. Constant multitasking will fragment your attention and decrease your efficiency, especially on the tasks that you need to pay active attention to, like conversations, building connections, quality time with your kids or otherwise learning a new skill. Multitasking is the division of attention which leads to mistakes and a sense of never fully completing anything, which will inadvertently increase your stress levels.
Speaker 1:
Compulsive planning and constantly thinking of future tasks that's another sign. But again, I myself love planning and try to think of all of our family's needs when taking trips, when meal planning. But it becomes a sign of stress addiction when there is no joy in the planning or when the outcome of planning actually defeats the purpose of making your life easy. Because you've just been so consumed about the planning, the process loses its meaning and the result is that there's just more stress, not necessarily a better meal plan, a best presentation, a good job interview, a better vacation. The purpose of planning becomes stress.
Speaker 1:
Another sign of stress addiction is you tying your self-worth and personal acceptance to goals and achievements. This means that your religious, professional and personal goals become the sole criteria for how you will value yourself and how much self-love and self-acceptance you will allow. When you achieve a goal, you might feel temporary satisfaction or worthiness, but this feeling is fleeting and as soon as your goal is met, the cycle begins again, with another goal taking its place. Just so you can chase that sense of self-acceptance, but it's always replaced by stress. Constant self-rejection and harsh self-criticism becomes ingrained, driving you to push harder and do more to feel worthy. The stress from this self-imposed pressure compounds, this constant pursuit, creates a relentless internal pressure Just to satisfy your need of stress. You will set increasingly high standards for yourself, but you do not have to achieve with stress, goal achievement. Stress and self-acceptance do not have to be connected.
Speaker 1:
Like I said, I had noticed these signs in me a long time ago, being constantly driven by high-pressure conditions to achieve goals. I didn't necessarily have a name for it then, but I think giving it a name of stress. Addiction makes it easier to work with, easier to recognize and if you still choose to look over it, that's your choice. But if you feel uneasy during calmness or just the thought of calmness makes you bored, if you overcommit to tasks or you call high standards perfection just to produce more stress rather than high quality work, if you neglect self-care because it can always be done at a later time, if your personal relationships are suffering, it might be time for you to switch over to other emotions as your energy fuel, bit by bit Although I have to admit I haven't seen Muslim women neglect personal relationships in the name of stress.
Speaker 1:
If anything, they overcommit to personal relationships. I have seen many women engage in constant self-sacrifice in the name of stress. If anything, they overcommit to personal relationships. I have seen many women engage in constant self-sacrifice in the name of their personal relationships. That's actually the most common way a Muslim woman's brain creates stress, and all of this is because of socialization and enculturation.
Speaker 1:
All of the answer to all of these stress addictions is mind management. All of the answer to all of these stress addictions is mind management, self-coaching, learning what you are thinking and redirecting your mind. The answer is in supervising your brain. If you recognize that one or maybe more than one of these situations applies to you, then you have successfully recognized signs of stress addiction. Then the next step is slowly switching into being a person who can do all of these things with a different energy. Asking yourself can I do the same task with other high energy, positive emotions like enthusiasm, grit, confidence, eagerness, empowerment, zest, delightfulness or vigor. There are so many other emotions to choose from other than a state of stress. And if you're too tired for a high energy state, ask yourself if it's possible for you to achieve the outcome with a positive, low energy emotion like joy, peace, anticipation, awe, satisfaction. There are so many possibilities outside of stress addiction.
Speaker 1:
Inshallah, I've shared with you a good variety of signs of what to look out for and with time you can transfer over to a healthier state of emotions to complete your tasks. With that, I pray to Allah SWT, the Most Merciful. Grant me and all of us peace and calmness in our hearts. Help me to recognize and release the burdens of stress that weigh on me. Guide me to balance my responsibilities with mindfulness. Strengthen my resolve to set healthy boundaries and to find contentment in your blessings. O Allah, ya Allah, allow me to embrace progress over perfection and to be kind and compassionate towards myself. Give me the wisdom to seek support when needed and to trust in your plan when I don't have that control. Ameen, ya Rabbul Alameen, please keep me in your du'as. I will talk to you guys next time.
